Today (The Shifting Perspective)

today i can see my life for years behind and forward.
how i've been wrong and how i've been right.
the choice i've made good and bad.
the bridges i burnt down.
clarity swallows me and i drown into haunted memories.

tomorrow is coming around.
i want to change course but i'm clueless.
i've been lonely so long i forget how to belong.
take a turn on the what could have been wheel.
try to remember what is like to love.
how to feel the warmth of a someones touch.
i wish i could cleanse my soul with tears but they don't come anymore.

i've dried up into a wrinkled, dark spotted flesh.
i need to know if i ever cross your mind
or am i thrown away like a piece of junk mail.
these wandering thoughts echo in my empty heart.
i found a pill that destroys my pain,
but there aren't enough to eliminate everything.

today doesn't mark any anniversary.
there's nothing special about my misery.
all these years i've tried to be the good girl.
now i see i never was good.
the mask never took hold of me.
i'm so sorry, i don't know how to make this right.

tomorrow is always on its way.
i can't stop it nor do i want it.
here and now is the best second.
i have it all in my head.
i'm afraid i'll forget.
i have this chance to take care of you instead of me.
i've run out of lies on this rope i've hung myself out to dry.

me and my fears have had an epic love affair.
now i need to see what life is like when you let go.
i need to know if time can truly heal
or will your face continue to taunt me forever.
all my dreams have collapsed into me.
everyone stares as i supernova.
everybody loves to watch when it's not their heart breaking into dust!