November First

i started out today in a good mood
things were up a smile easily crossed my face
i cleaned the house without hesitation
picked gab up from school
she had a good day too
got home dad was waiting he was in a good mood
we went to olive garden
the food was good, life was good

got home, my period started
the cramping, the pain
my neice is pregnant at 18
she's got epilepsy
the babies intestines are on the outside
caused by her medicine
my best friend is down
i'm being dragged down too
now i feel so heavy i can barely move

i take my medicine then settle down
i watch my name is earl
i get a laugh or two
i flip between it and smallville
like i always do
gab's in her room waiting for wrestling
i move on to csi, it's ok
i ate half of gab's dessert
and i don't even like tirimisu
i scarf down 2 choc. chip granola bars too

i head upstairs.
i brush my teeth and notice my
disheveled appearance
and the black circles under my eyes
i lay down to sleep but i just stare
at my windows and look at the clock
periodically, no sleep for me
i can't clear my head and the meds
have no impact upon me
i sign on to the computer but everyone
else is gone on to the real world

i go downstairs i pet dusty
and find him his favorite treat
i grab my headphones they smell
good. i think i febrezed everything
in the house today
i grab a diet doctor pepper
and head back upstairs to my computer
to type this nonsense down
anything to stop feeling so depressed
but i confess i still am depressed