Reunions

I’m not like I used to be all those years ago when you had me. Life carried me away from you forward and onward to different dreams that didn’t include you and me. Now we’re both older, colder, grown up’s with heartbreaks, heartaches, and scars that go down to our bones.

We catch up on the facts, the kids, the cats, and the dogs. You have motorcycles, ex-wives, girlfriends, loved ones that you lost, and I have similar tales to tell. After the memories get exchanged and the laughter fades there’s not much that remains. It looks like we weren’t meant to pick up where we left off. The hope of a lost love being rekindled dies in one of those it was good to see you again and lots of wish you the bests. We walk away and again go our separate ways.

Summer brings around reunions. Reunions bring around memories best left in the past. I wish I could forget what it had been like to be your girl. Those school days were a rush that I’ve never been able to capture again. Next reunion I think I’ll pass and leave the old days back in the yearbook where they belong. I can’t relive them and tear open scars long since healed.

I use my time on self-improvement, self-delusion, and self-acquisition. This world keeps spinning around wobbling on its axis like every wrong will be right again. Love’s opposition is indifference and I’m trying so hard to keep caring, but I feel nothing on so many days. I have a soul but I’m not sure if it’s still attached to me at all.

I play around with a new idea. I see a new look I want to try. I keep trying to take this round person I am and fit it into a square society. I had wanted so much more than I think I’ve gotten, but I know I have so much more than a lot of others have ever seen. I’ve been blessed. There’s a trick being played on me that makes me still second guess God’s grace. I want to embrace all of life’s living colors. I want to live today like there’s no other, but I feel like today I might break.

The warm air reunites me with other distant summer nights of my past where I sat outside and chased fireflies, kissed boys, and played with sparklers. My eyes grow misty with long forgotten recollections of stolen moments running with friends like summer would never end. The folly of the young is that you think you’ll always be young and you can never see past the moment you are in. I know I should resist this reunion of summer’s past in my head, but I indulge my heart’s whim.

I’m not like I used to be even yesterday I’m different today. Time keeps us moving forward and onward into a different version of ourselves. I try hard to keep up with myself and hold back all the mistakes. Regret is no place to live your life. I put on a perky smile and open up the door to the summer and look up and out into this odd world. I have to live right here and right now. There’s no time to waste on reunions.