Almost Sunshine

one day far away from here,
a daughter was born.
she had golden bouncy curls
and an early smile that outshown the sun.
her mother wanted to name her Sunshine,
but it wasn't to be.

Almost sunshine for her.
i feel so ordinary.
i wish i could've been sunshine for you.

one day last week,
the weary soul of that girl
cried all night long.
as she slowly slips into another depression,
she ponders what life would've been like
had she been a sunshine.

almost sunshine on a tuesday afternoon.
i feel so plain.
i wish i could've been sunshine for me.

there's no hope under an eclipsed sun.
i feel defeated even in my dreams.
i'm just spinning in darkness.
i'm being smothered by fear,
wishing i was a sunshine for real.

Death is Black

sadness creeps into my soul
as the cold chills my bones.
life swirls around me
in colors of the christmas season.
they sparkle and shine
but all i feel is remorse.

the past dangles regrets in front of me.
i begin to get tangled up
in daydreams of what could have beens.
the ghosts dance circles in my mind.
they softly chime,
come join us, this is the time.

death is black.
and birth is pink.
in the middle of them i've lost perspective.
i'm the one that is forgetting.
i'm the one that can't let go.
my shoulders ache from this load.
how many more years must i suffer
the pain of another christmas without you?