This Winter

This winter is freezing me outside to in.
Hope cannot blossom under these persistant grey skies.
I try to find a smile inside of my soul,
but it's buried under several feet of snow.
It's impossible to discover joy when you can't stand up on ice.

This winter knows it brings death.
The flowers are dead. The grass has wilted.
The blue skies have disappeared.
The usual peace I find in the solemn white landscape
has been lost under inches of ice.

I'm not sure what I like anymore.
What used to make me laugh,
now just makes me sad.
I feel the strain of my beating heart.
My weight crushing me to death inside to out.

This winter has been painful.
The cold clings to me.
The wind tears through me.
I find myself curling up and
never wanting to leave my bed.

This winter seems endless.
The signs of spring are too far away to bring me comfort.
I used to want winter to stay.
But all I think about now is how much I miss the sun.

Darkness is in the sky and in my thoughts.
Contradictions are running wild inside of me.
Is there a storm of depression brewing in me?
I don't know if I can survive another one.
To be turned upside down again,
to feel my insides wanting out again.

This winter has eclipsed all expectations.
I had the calm, now it's all undone.
The snowflakes fall & each one makes me anxious.
All of it piles up around me,
I'm scared it will bury me.

This winter drapes the hills in the distance.
It all seems ominous to me now.
I want to runaway,
to somewhere that winter's icy grip cannont reach me.