Look a Penny

what was i doing?
where was i going?
i hate when i do that!
my train of thought jumped the tracks
and it ain't coming back.

when did i become the forgetful one?
i think my brain is rotting.
the knowledge is disappearing.
my life is going to fade away
and no one will remember me.

sadness plays me like a violin.
sheltered from reality,
i want to fly south
and keep myself locked away,
before i hurt the ones i love.

my tears drop into my bubble bath.
the cherry blossom scent masks the smell of my disappointment.
i try not to stutter.
i know my reaction was stunted,
but i was caught off guard.
i don't know how to respond when you tear me down in one breath,
then compliment me in your next.

my brain doesn't fire rounds as quickly as your mouth does.
the trigger sticks and is hard to pull like molasses.
the cold has me confused,
there i go and use the wrong words with you again.
i want to hoard you in my bedroom,
seal you in behind the clutter of my love.

what was i doing?
what point was i trying to make?
i started this then stopped;
it's been an hour since i first had this thought.
all is lost to time's unrentless march.
oh, look a penny, it's so shiny!