Zygote

wow, 2 off hand comments in 1 call leave me reeling and discombobulated.
i had hoped we were moving forward, but i see now we've been twirling around in circles on the dance floor of our friendship.

i'm not little and my uterus isn't good enough for your zygote!

ther's not much i can do.
i'll never be her.
and i realize now you aren't letting her go.
so i'm the back up, 2nd place,
not even a qualified replacement for you.
you're still looking to date.
i'm not even registering as a potential mate.
i give up.
she wins.

i'm shutting down my attachment to you.
i no longer want to please you.
i don't want to see you.
but i will.

why? because i'm in love with you.
and to have some of you is better then none of you.
i'm coming to a crossroads here,
and i don't know which way to turn.

do i stick with the status quo?
or rock the boat?
do i make a demand?
or attempt to manipulate you?
i don't know what i want or need anymore.

and there's not much i can do.
but hang around and see if in time you end up wanting me.