Winter in Late March

the wind cuts through my three layers of clothes as if i've come outside naked.
i turn the corner and my breath catches and my heart stammers.
the briskness of my walk fails to warm me and i come back in unable to feel my extremities.
i clumsily peel back the clothes to confirm i still have my fingers and my toes!

i cover up in three blankets and a 30 pound puggle.
an hour has lapsed and the chill still permeates every cell of flesh i have.
the winter has been a bitter enemy;
the spring an unwilling ally.
the snow begins again bringing more dread with no end.
even the ghosts of my past have been frozen solid.

i sit still in the quiet hoping to be forgotten.
the extended grey skies have crippled my enthusiasms.
now the only appealing things in my world are heat and sleep.
no one smiles or looks up between their mad dashes from heated cars to heated stores to their heated houses.
we are being held prisoner by winter's unyielding wrath.

i dream of a sun filled paradise.
palm trees, swimming pools, pink drinks with umbrellas and a tan all dance around in my head.
the mirages never stay and every morning the cold stabs my hope to death.
i'd fly away if i could afford it, but winter knows i'm stuck and delights in my misery.

the sun is out and mocking me with its shine, but no warmth it provides.
my aches have aches.
my pains have pains.
every movement triggers a tormenting throbbing of every muscle.
i crank up the thermostat and grit my teeth.
the dollars lost hurt almost as much as my fingers do.

wintertime i beg of you, move on to some other country.
i've had enough of your attention this year.
my life is on pause until you leave.
please die so i can live.
my soul is suffocating under your unrelenting gaze.
you use to be my favorite time of year, but your welcome has passed.
winter it's not you it's me!