The Hell of It

tonight i'm pounding an upbeat drum that is rolling down hill faster then i can run.
if these are the trials and tribulations i can't complain others have greater pain.
i try to remain emotionally intact, but misery loves to knock me off track.
he's still inside of me keeping me strong;
i'm still in love with him, lies and all!

i back peddle and switch gears just to hold on.
it's not easy loving someone whose half way out the door.
he doesn't feel regret and he never looks back.
he's the one i have to do better for.
tonight i'm rolling the dice right off the cliff.
there's no sense in playing if you're afraid to lose.

there are so many thoughts rattling around my brain,
but my heart is sold and he has my soul.
the closer i try to get to him the harder he is to find.
inside i'm out of control screaming maniac crazy person.
all you see is raised eyebrows and a grin.
i have no idea where this love goes,
but i'll keep on the road until we crash and burn.

everything works better when you have control.
i was bluffing when i said i could let you go.
you're a better gambler then me and it shows.
you hold all the cards i've built my feelings on.
at any moment you could knock me down just for the hell of it!

Little Thoughts

Do I think too small?
Do I think at all?
If i have a thought does it matter?
all my little thoughts must lead somewhere for me.
i'm not sure where to be but i'm not sitting here for free.
all my dreams get filed in number 13, how can i think bigger thoughts for me?

i cut myself short and talk myself down.
i hold balloons but never leave the ground.
i make up words so i can say i'm smart, but it's all nonsense, just like my thoughts.
take me up to the clouds i will live there.
fill my head with trivial crap so i won't need it.
i know which way to turn if i never go left.

do i think about you?
do i think about me?
if i think about us does it matter?
all my little thoughts don't add up to anything for me.
i'm not convinced i have what it takes to make it big.
all my hopes get dashed in salt and pepper, how can i think of a better flavor?

i put myself up and drown myself out.
i slash the tires on my think i can bus.
if my life was a movie, i'd play dumb and dumber, but it's all stupidity, just like my thoughts!
bury my head in the sand i like it there.
ignorance is comfortable and i wear it everywhere.
i know you don't trust me i lie because i want too.

do i think this poem sucks?
do i think you are bored?
if i think it's time to quit does it matter?
all my little thoughts evaporate into air.
i'm quivering in anticipation of my fears.
all my cleverness ran out about 10 years ago so none of this matters!