Imagination

Doubt plays around in my mind trying to squeeze all the love out of my heart.
I don’t want to let the fear win out.
I’ve waited so long to find you.
Now I worry my anxiety will take you away.
My hope builds you up and my heart swells with love for you and I feel overjoyed.
This is the sun being let in to shine into what was a dark life for such a long time.
But I can’t forget or shake off the memories of hurt from my past completely, and they are calling out to my logical side, that it’s too good to be true, that you aren’t the man I see.
My imagination begins to run away with me.

Cast the spotlight onto him;
Flush out every flaw;
Can I live with how he says, Is that bad?
After every story he tells and yeah some of it is pretty bad.
He’s not perfect, but I’m even less than perfect.
Lay the cards out side by side and see who comes up shorter, no puns intended, but he and I aren’t angels.
He overshares, but so do I.
He’s inappropriate and yells at his kid’s for something he just did himself.
I can’t claim the higher moral ground here.
My imagination wants to gloss over the worst of it, but will this breed bitterness in time?

Do I worry just to have something to worry about?
Am I afraid to be happy?
I am scared to commit.
He has a lot on his plate.
Kids, grandmother, ex-wives, custody battles, legal issues, health problems, and crazy ideas that never seem to end;
he never gives up, but just as he stands something knocks him down again.
I’ve never seen one person with such bad luck.
I think mine is beginning to change for the worse.
Is he rubbing off on me?
Or is my imagination just making me think I’m cursed lately?