Turned Out the LIght

I struggle to feel and to know what's real.
I see and hear but nothing registers inside this brain.
My pain strips me of all pretense, just let me sleep.
I miss the sound of music.
I miss my dreams.
This medicine turns out the light and i never feel right.

My creativity has left.
I feel barren and adrift.
I curl into a ball and try to cry but nothing comes out.
The world's rainbow bright colors are gray and black.
I pick up a picture of happier days and think, why can't i go back that way.
This depression turned out the light and i am alone in the darkness all the time.

When will i learn this is my curse.
If i dance and sing i can't think straight.
if i am thinking straight all the music leaves my soul.
it's a prison, it's a medication, it's a difficult choice i face.
right now i think i'm okay, but am i?
This vicious cycle of ups and downs turns out the light and leaves me without any delight.