Broke Me

my heartache echoes in my ears.
it's good to hear i'm alive.
i wondered because i feel so dead inside.
your negligence did this to me.
every word you didn't say taunted me.
all those little things added up and crushed us
i wish you'd let me in on the joke
one day you loved me the next day you left me
how can my heart cope with that

bring back your arrogance
hold me one more time with indifference
look into my eyes and tell me the pretty lies
i'll be waiting forever for you to mean your kiss
your cruelness broke me
but i don't know why i still can't let you go

my chest rises and falls with every breath
it's good to see i'm alive
i had doubts i had survived
your nonchalant goodbye did this to me
every step you took out of my life stomped the light out of me
all those suspicions were the end of us
i wish you'd told me sooner
one day you wanted me the next day you discarded me
how can my heart recover from that

bring back your disdain
tell me i'm not worthy
look right through me
i'll be here hanging on to the air that used to be you
your carelessness broke me
but i can't stop hoping you'll come back to me

Wrinkles

i'm past my prime, i wasted all of my time.
pinned my hopes and dreams on the same sleeveless shirt.
playing games without the rules; thinking heart's don't break.
pretending love never ends and i'll always be young.
all the world and all the lies show in the wrinkles around my eyes.

teased by a promise that no cosmetic can deliver
i spend money i don't have to find that elixir
and with failure comes prescriptions
sweet sleep, sweeter dreams, a vicious circle that eats away the days
this hole i can't get out of feels like home

life becomes a serious of little things
do i bother to smile or just paint one on
how do i find the spirit? where has it gone?
love seemed so plentiful and men so grateful
i feasted up the sins of their flesh
now i fast and i see no end to this lonely unrest.

there are moments i realize how alone i really am
then there are times i call it solitude instead
i think more then i feel
i wonder if any love i had was real
i'm fading away and burning out all at the same time
was anything i ever had even mine

too tired for punctuation
too bored ...
maybe tomorrow i'll finish something

No Where to Go

i clicked on the wrong button again
i'm downloading heartache from the emptiness of internet space
how long until the hurt is gone
i've been waiting for so long
there's no light only more pain

hollow sounds fill my full mind
mindlessly i walk the world
hoping life decides to send happiness my way
i'll take one heartache to go
there's nothing to do and no where to go

i'm syncing up to a life full of regret
my a.d.d. keeps asking me are we there yet
how much can one heart bleed
i'll keep eating my disease and feeding its needs
there's no joy only more sadness

time makes no sound as it wastes away
i sit so still in the darkness of a full moon
praying God finds a moment to hear my words
i'll take a new soul to go
there's nothing for me here and no where to go

i had a dream i ended up dead and alive
this lie i tell every time i smile had to be perfected in the mirror
how long did i think i could fool you
i was waiting for the right time
there wasn't a second i haven't love you

breaking a heart echoes around the soul
the cold is coming and i want to freeze me
crying into the night doesn't make it alright
i'll get a better me to go
there's nothing hold me back and yet there's no where i want to go