Borderline Suffocation

i have too much space!
my hyperness has become borderline suffocation.
i found my place, but you cannot co-habitate in blissed domestication.
there's obligations and duties for you to enforce.

take a lesson and write me down.
blend your habits up and i'll swallow them all.
you're evasiveness is running me into the ground.
my patience stretched to hip popping painful levels perplexed.

did we find each other just to lose one another?
please come here to fill up the echoes in my head.
i know you need time and air to breath.
the same two elements smother me.

you're counting my flaws.
they're adding up and you have none at all.
give me some of your confidence.
i need a protein boost to get me through this.

we make everything about you.
the less you learn about me the better you adore me.
each layer you peel back feels like i'm under attack.
i try to undress to distract you from my psychological distress.

where is the sun?
it left with you along with the fun.
i tell you i only want to please you, but you think i'm lying.
only time will flush out the truth.

life began when you said you love me.
you have all the bullets in my gun.
shoot my heart out, it's yours!
just don't twist it until hurts.

How it Really Works

The best is yet to come, no it's not.
that's what they tell you when you're young
to keep the suicide rate low.
by the time you figure out that being adult sucks
you've got obligations,
like kids, and you stick it out for them,
but they sense your quiet desperation.
that's why we all grow up so fucked up.
deep down we know this is it.
there are no second chances.
there's no reverse or do overs.
and very few succeed or realize their dreams.

i know what negativity can do to a human brain.
mine is wasting away.
i've reinforced my own flaws
and now i'm passing them on.
the cycle seldom breaks.
i'm not the best, the greatest, or the most smartest.
i can live with that.
i get by, but what kills me is the lonely nights.
i feel so worthless lying in bed alone.
no one to hold.
one night stands or brief affairs fail to satisfy this ache.
my heart wants to love and be loved.
i fight it so damn hard because it's so damn corny.

but that's how life really works.
it's not just wanting something but letting yourself have it.
if the past is a glimpse into the future then i'm screwed.
cause i will fuck it up like i usually do.
most men can't handle my emotional pendulum.
i'd pray, but right now i'm mad at God.
i don't think he's listening to me.
i'm starting to wonder if it's all a gimmick
to get society to conform.
i guess the question isn't answered until you are dead.
so i'll pray again and again
and maybe one day God will listen to me again.