Pretty I am Not

Pretty I am not.
a jester i had caught.
love and laughter self-taught.
but flowers you bring me not.

liar i am.
covered in i can'ts.
you only cheat.
but you i choose to keep.

inappropriate words i spoke.
took away all of your rope.
stole and hid your hopes.
offered you a coke.
but you choked.

filled with ego.
stoked your fires.
poked you so you'd go.
got it as good as you gave it.
but no one forgets it.

you had an itch to scratch.
i had sharp nails.
you gave me your back.
about gave me a heart attack.
but i kept coming back.

High on Hope

like the randomness of my ipod on shuffle,
i chose you to hold my heart in your hands.
i held my breath waiting for you to come around.
i passed out starved from the lack of your attention.
in that second of oblivion i was floating, high on hope.
i came to and found hope had run itself into the ground.

it seems like i'm always on hold with you.
i'm not sure if you do it intentionally.
you aren't aware of the impact of your words,
and you think i'm clueless.
you're absurdly beyond oblivious.
i think you need some help!

like my dog sniffing for the perfect spot to poop,
you can't figure out why i feel like your dumping ground.
i mention my emotions to you
and you hijack the conversation to make it about you.
i'm trying to get a grip on what you want,
but i keep running out of rope with you.

it seems clear to me now.
you can't see me without the overlay of your ex's worst attributes.
the silhouettes are blurry to you.
and i'm sorry you're too blinded by the past
to see the future we could've had.
i think i'm getting help!

i was high on hope, but now i'm just depressed and alone!