How it Really Works

The best is yet to come, no it's not.
that's what they tell you when you're young
to keep the suicide rate low.
by the time you figure out that being adult sucks
you've got obligations,
like kids, and you stick it out for them,
but they sense your quiet desperation.
that's why we all grow up so fucked up.
deep down we know this is it.
there are no second chances.
there's no reverse or do overs.
and very few succeed or realize their dreams.

i know what negativity can do to a human brain.
mine is wasting away.
i've reinforced my own flaws
and now i'm passing them on.
the cycle seldom breaks.
i'm not the best, the greatest, or the most smartest.
i can live with that.
i get by, but what kills me is the lonely nights.
i feel so worthless lying in bed alone.
no one to hold.
one night stands or brief affairs fail to satisfy this ache.
my heart wants to love and be loved.
i fight it so damn hard because it's so damn corny.

but that's how life really works.
it's not just wanting something but letting yourself have it.
if the past is a glimpse into the future then i'm screwed.
cause i will fuck it up like i usually do.
most men can't handle my emotional pendulum.
i'd pray, but right now i'm mad at God.
i don't think he's listening to me.
i'm starting to wonder if it's all a gimmick
to get society to conform.
i guess the question isn't answered until you are dead.
so i'll pray again and again
and maybe one day God will listen to me again.