Abandoned Experiment

my eyes can see what you did.
my ears can hear what you said,
but my brain refused to process it.
the data you've supplied is incomplete.
i reached deep into my heart
to pull out all the stops.
i told you i was all in.
i heard you agree to do the same.

i'm confused.
your lack of explanation is frustrating.
you tell me you've said your peace,
but what about me?
i didn't get a chance to respond.
you always have to have the last word.

my senses have disengaged.
my soul is in a dark gloomy place,
but my brain paces around your memories.
the information i have has been analyzed
to figure out what went wrong.
i can't get it to make sense.
the puzzle is together,
but the picture isn't clear.

i'm baffled.
your words could fill the grand canyon,
but no where in them is a reason.
did you tell me you loved me
just to see if you could get someone to love you?
i feel like an experiment that has been abandoned
after the results were not to your satisfaction.

my body relaxes under the influence.
my dreams are filled with alternate endings,
but my brain chases your words to dead ends.
like a hamster on an excercise wheel,
i can't stop repeating every memory.
i think you stained me permanently.