My Beloved

i'm writing this instead of calling you.
i think you've destroyed me.
all my desire is gone.
i am cured of hope.
faith has forsaken me.
i can't help but think of you.
i know you've heard it all before
and i'm letting you fight your own war.

if you're hurting so am i.
i don't want to make you love me,
but i'd forgive it all,
if you could just love me a little bit.

i scared you and i scared me too.
i just don't want to close the door on us.
i was so disappointed that you didn't want more with me.
i had hoped time would bring you around.
i am confused.
and i'm hurt, but one day i hope you realize,
you don't have to look anymore,
because i'm right here waiting on you.

i should try to give you a little more.
i should've seen it coming.
i guess my loving you wasn't enough.
i'm slowly getting my closure.
you took a hammer to my heart
and killed the best parts of me.

i doubted your resolve.
i know i'll get over you.
but i don't think i'm ever going to open up again,
the way i opened up to you.
you know all my secrets.
i guess that's why it hurts so much!