The Rules

i'm starting to wonder if i have a heart left to break.
i'm basking in the bliss of my ignorance.
i don't want to be your therapist.
i don't want to know your wife's name.
if you're cheating on her it's not about me.
i'm a symptom of your disease, not the root cause.

these are the rules to follow if you wish to proceed.
you don't talk about me.
no one needs the to know about me.
this never happened, i don't know you.
this is a one time limited offer.
we fuck, you leave.

we continue with our separate lives.
the sexual curiousity satisfied.
there's no need to create drama.
i don't want a committment from you.
you are already in one.
if we stick to the basics,
no problems should arise.
we fuck, you leave.

i don't care about the state of your marriage.
it may seem cold of me,
but i've learned the hard way how this plays out.
there's no use in loving a married man,
when he's not married to you.
i'm never enough of a reason for him to leave her.
if you agree to play by the rules then we can get to it.
let's fuck, so you can leave!

A Heavy Heart

insanity furrows my brow.
i'm frenzied to find a way out.
problems run across my mind.
solutions are just beyond my reach.
i'm angry then bored.
i shut myself down for the night.
maybe in my sleep i'll unwind.

depression fuels my frown.
i truly have a heavy heart.
it beats so slowly it almost stops.
i've been waiting for a friend,
but no one comes here.
i swim in my tears
and make me a blanket from my fears.

recklessness has formed my scars.
i'm patched together by threads of hope.
i bury myself behind my anxiety.
my hands are so wrung they look older then i am.
my fractures criss and cross along my soul.
i long to once again be whole,
but the light fades before the idea can take hold.

caution defines every step i take.
heavy sighs follow every breath.
it hurts in ways i don't understand.
i belong to no one here.
i once had pockets full of dreams.
now i'm broken out of my seams.
i've betrayed myself against my own wishes.