Let Me Burn

Let me burn.
this house is vacant.
toss away the bad and there's nothing left.
i held onto my past too long and let my future fall inbetween the cracks.

i lack empathy.
i can't find you even when you're in plain view.
if i think about you my heart hurts.
i stopped pretending i didn't love you.

i'm climbing up an endless wall.
i'll never get over you.
i'm growing older.
my excuses are ringing hollow now.
i can't turn it back onto you.

these mistakes define who i am.
i tried to not try and i succeeded with minimal effort.
all i know how to do is avoid you.
i'm packing up all that i am into a small box.
i don't need myself anymore.

i can count the good times on one hand.
the bad times go on without end.
i got one hundred dollars and a gun.
i'll drink myself numb and if that's not enough, i'll use the gun.

i'll shoot every bullet into the ghost of you.
i don't care if it works or not.
my goal is simple enough.
i have to rid myself of my own fears.

tonight i will battle myself.
in quiet reflection of the raindrops,
i'll find the place inside of me not cracked.
i'm going to defeat my own mind.
no one is getting out alive!

Dark Thoughts

I know what you're thinking.
I see it in your eyes.
She's on your mind every time you stare into space.
You're thinking about her taking my place.
When you go quiet suddenly she's got your tongue.
I hear her voice loud and clear.
I swear your silence says it all.
You've fallen in love and I'm out in the cold.

These dark thoughts are taking hold of me.
Sunny skies can't chase away this blackness swallowing my heart.
These dark thoughts are leading me to my destruction.
Hey, where'd I get that gun?
How'd you get on the floor?
These dark thoughts are dripping in blood.
in deep crimson sin, I found you with her,
and I came undone.
I went over and over and over the scene in my head;
Until the dark thoughts consumed me, now it's done.

I'm not as dumb as you thought I was.
I caught on quicker then you expected.
The receipts you left around the house.
The credit card bills for gifts I never got.
The hotel matchbooks for places I've never been.
The way you'd start a fight just so you could leave.
It all adds up, you've got someone new and I can't bear it.

These dark thoughts won't leave me be.
All I can see is pain and agony.
The darkness swallows me.
I want to cause you pain.
I feel rage in every part of me.
The dark thoughts seem right to me.
What was good now is bad.
What was right now is wrong.
Hey, How'd I get that gun?
How'd you get on the floor?
These dark thoughts are dripping in blood.
The velvet black of my soul wrapped this up with a crimson bow.

I don't know who you are any more.
You shut me out and let her in.
She did this to you.
Not me, I am the victim here.
In my mind it is crystal clear, it is all her fault.
She had to pay and only dark thoughts can make you see it my way.
So look inside my betrayed heart and hear the voices in my head
as they whisper, he won't hurt us ever again!