plain white paper brings dreaded news.
you feel helpless knowing you're at the end of the rope.
plastered inside your mind are terrible deaths.
you have created by osmosis your hated "ID".
self-betrayal without premeditation is murder 2.
most get out in 7-15 years, but i got a life sentence.
can you hear? can you see? can you feel my agony?
we and i boil down to alone.
trim off the fat surrounding my bones,
maybe i'm still alive under the debris.
i hope for another love, but pray i'll die free.
perilous decisions lead me to the ledge
if i don't jump i'll be wondering if it was him
but if it take the plunge and it blows up,
there'll be a fall out i am too broken to cover up.
fragile is a bad mixture for a lonely cocktail
my heart overflows with my self-pity,
a vast well barely tapped, it'll drain out upon my death.
look and listen to me carefully.
i have problems, but i set them aside easily.
i'm too tortured to be me.
i live off my own negative energy.
will you help me if i scream?
murder me with mercy.
strangle me with kindness.
force feed me some confidence.
all i know is i never change.
i ping pong back and forth between bittersweet depression
and the honeymoon of my addictions.
i have no choices so it's a done deal.
i'll be me and all of you will leave me the fuck alone!
Showing posts with label murder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label murder. Show all posts
Monday, November 7, 2011
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Dark Thoughts
I know what you're thinking.
I see it in your eyes.
She's on your mind every time you stare into space.
You're thinking about her taking my place.
When you go quiet suddenly she's got your tongue.
I hear her voice loud and clear.
I swear your silence says it all.
You've fallen in love and I'm out in the cold.
These dark thoughts are taking hold of me.
Sunny skies can't chase away this blackness swallowing my heart.
These dark thoughts are leading me to my destruction.
Hey, where'd I get that gun?
How'd you get on the floor?
These dark thoughts are dripping in blood.
in deep crimson sin, I found you with her,
and I came undone.
I went over and over and over the scene in my head;
Until the dark thoughts consumed me, now it's done.
I'm not as dumb as you thought I was.
I caught on quicker then you expected.
The receipts you left around the house.
The credit card bills for gifts I never got.
The hotel matchbooks for places I've never been.
The way you'd start a fight just so you could leave.
It all adds up, you've got someone new and I can't bear it.
These dark thoughts won't leave me be.
All I can see is pain and agony.
The darkness swallows me.
I want to cause you pain.
I feel rage in every part of me.
The dark thoughts seem right to me.
What was good now is bad.
What was right now is wrong.
Hey, How'd I get that gun?
How'd you get on the floor?
These dark thoughts are dripping in blood.
The velvet black of my soul wrapped this up with a crimson bow.
I don't know who you are any more.
You shut me out and let her in.
She did this to you.
Not me, I am the victim here.
In my mind it is crystal clear, it is all her fault.
She had to pay and only dark thoughts can make you see it my way.
So look inside my betrayed heart and hear the voices in my head
as they whisper, he won't hurt us ever again!
I see it in your eyes.
She's on your mind every time you stare into space.
You're thinking about her taking my place.
When you go quiet suddenly she's got your tongue.
I hear her voice loud and clear.
I swear your silence says it all.
You've fallen in love and I'm out in the cold.
These dark thoughts are taking hold of me.
Sunny skies can't chase away this blackness swallowing my heart.
These dark thoughts are leading me to my destruction.
Hey, where'd I get that gun?
How'd you get on the floor?
These dark thoughts are dripping in blood.
in deep crimson sin, I found you with her,
and I came undone.
I went over and over and over the scene in my head;
Until the dark thoughts consumed me, now it's done.
I'm not as dumb as you thought I was.
I caught on quicker then you expected.
The receipts you left around the house.
The credit card bills for gifts I never got.
The hotel matchbooks for places I've never been.
The way you'd start a fight just so you could leave.
It all adds up, you've got someone new and I can't bear it.
These dark thoughts won't leave me be.
All I can see is pain and agony.
The darkness swallows me.
I want to cause you pain.
I feel rage in every part of me.
The dark thoughts seem right to me.
What was good now is bad.
What was right now is wrong.
Hey, How'd I get that gun?
How'd you get on the floor?
These dark thoughts are dripping in blood.
The velvet black of my soul wrapped this up with a crimson bow.
I don't know who you are any more.
You shut me out and let her in.
She did this to you.
Not me, I am the victim here.
In my mind it is crystal clear, it is all her fault.
She had to pay and only dark thoughts can make you see it my way.
So look inside my betrayed heart and hear the voices in my head
as they whisper, he won't hurt us ever again!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I Don't Need You
you leave me unmoved. i listen to your passionate pleas. and i don't feel a damn thing. i shove you down and kick you for no reason. your tears make me angry and your i'm sorry's whip up a cold breeze inside my heart. if you had loved me you would have stayed. i don't need anyone. i don't need you.
the reasons unfold like a murder mystery i've seen 1,000 times before. your charms can't heal my broken heart. there's no do over's. you took until i had nothing to give, i'm bankrupt so leave. you are nothing to me. i don't need anyone. i don't need you.
i steal the moments of solitude and collect my thoughts carefully. i have only half of me to live from now. your betrayal eclipsed my days of happiness. i'd shoot you dead if i believed it would undo all the misery you brought to my door. i don't need anyone. i don't need you.
i need time to heal. i need quiet to cry. i need to eat something. i need a quick fix. i need fire. i need love. i need feelings. i need a smile. you god damn, fucking, son of a bitch. i need to forget. give me all the booze and bottles of pills you can get. god help me, i won't quit, until i don't need anyone. and i don't need you. until i don't need you. until i don't need you. i won't quit until i don't need you.
the reasons unfold like a murder mystery i've seen 1,000 times before. your charms can't heal my broken heart. there's no do over's. you took until i had nothing to give, i'm bankrupt so leave. you are nothing to me. i don't need anyone. i don't need you.
i steal the moments of solitude and collect my thoughts carefully. i have only half of me to live from now. your betrayal eclipsed my days of happiness. i'd shoot you dead if i believed it would undo all the misery you brought to my door. i don't need anyone. i don't need you.
i need time to heal. i need quiet to cry. i need to eat something. i need a quick fix. i need fire. i need love. i need feelings. i need a smile. you god damn, fucking, son of a bitch. i need to forget. give me all the booze and bottles of pills you can get. god help me, i won't quit, until i don't need anyone. and i don't need you. until i don't need you. until i don't need you. i won't quit until i don't need you.
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