Path to Heaven

i knew my freedom wasn't perfect.
i was slipping into temporal desires that led nowhere.
i thought once your innocence was lost you could never be clean again.
i would follow the teachings of Jesus for a little while,
but i'd run low on spiritual fuel and abandon ship.

i didn't understand the directions.
i let lust and doubt interrupt my journey.
my efforts would easily be derailed by sin disguised as good.
i'd fall for all the pretty boys and their satin words.
i thought i was in love, but i was just in lust.

my faith would be tested again and again.
i'd cry for hours desperate for a sign that i was on the right track.
i was little in faith and terrified of the future.
i decided to focus on now and pray.
the clouds parted and the sunshine was brilliant.
i was blessed with the comfort of the Holy Ghost.

i realized the trappings of this life are nothing.
i could not depend on others to lead my way.
only i can determine the path i take to heaven.
i don't have to be a visionary to see how beautiful God made everything.
i no longer fear the fury of damnation.
this is true freedom, like God, it is perfect.

Carpe Diem, Damn!

now is not the time to be serious.
now is not the time to be weak.
i must pull myself together.
i am not going to weep!

now is not the time to compromise.
now is not the time to empathize.
i must put a smile on my face.
i am not going to cave!

i can not think about tomorrow.
i can not handle the future.
i have to hold on to my illusions.
carpe diem, damn!
carpe diem, damn!
i will seize this day even if it kills me.

now is not the time to make plans.
now is not the time to make amends.
i must be strong.
i do not care who is right or wrong!

now is not the time to analyze.
now is not the time to tear apart my heart.
i must be smart.
i do not want to go back to the start!

i can not dream of happily ever afters.
i am unable to see ahead.
i am here and it is now.
carpe diem, damn!
carpe diem, damn!
i am going to make the best of this day even if i am dying inside.

i will seize the day.
damn, i am crying again!