Sweet Poison

it's okay, just let the pain wash you away.
feel the waves of agony crashing over your brain.
it's not as bad as it could be,
let the sweet poison course through your veins until you're empty of pain.

you watch the days pass you by one by one.
there's always another setting sun to come.
you get out of bed less and less.
your hair is always a mess.
you're praying for an escape that never comes.
all around you others move along and you wish you could do the same,
but here you are right where you've always been.

time is stealing everything from you;
your youth, health, family and chances for happiness have all walked out the door.
you'd hoped for so much more,
so take your sweet poison and sink down into the pillows.
the dreams are calling your name and life sucks when you're awake.
life is full of loss and pain.
every day you let the sweet poison take you away is a better day.

it's okay, not every one can win the fight between good and evil.
so let your ideas slide into oblivion.
your battle is more internal.
you brace yourself for all the bad to come.
somehow there's always more.
you run around in circles thinking you're fooling someone into thinking you're a mover,
but all you've done is look ridiculous to everyone.
take a bow and leave it alone,
let the sweet poison carry you home.

tomorrow brings another chance to fuck it up and you'll succeed
in the one way you desperately wish you would fail.
go home and take your sweet poison to feel better.
all your worries and fears will disappear.
you'll relax and be empty,
so empty you'll think you've floated away,
but you'll come down and realize you never left the ground.

Embrace God

the sun has set on my creativity.
my thoughts are like a ceiling fan, they spin and spin.
it always sounds better in my head.
i don't move, why bother,
by the time i get what i need,
i'll forget why i wanted it.

i'm down on myself again.
he hates when i do that,
but i can't control it.
it's like an invisible hand takes
command and my brain shifts to depressed.

there's a shitload of pills on the market.
but i don't want to be addicted.
i don't want to be dependent.
i want to live just the way i am.
to fix me, only feels like you're breaking me.
it hurts to have someone tell you you're crazy.
even when i know they aren't wrong.

these days the world's tilting more to the left.
i am trying to control who orbits around my planet.
i think you've succumb to my gravitational pull.
i want us to supernova.
my love for you can kill you.

my senses are alive with pain.
the nerves are sending agony to my brain.
all my neurons fire at once.
i'm cascading into a firestorm of chaotic thought.
i want to take a knife and cut my soul out of my flesh.
i can smell the blood of my release.

none of this flows together.
if you seek logic you should read elsewhere.
my journey has an expiration date.
one day i'll embrace God.
But for now i'll just get drunk on Strongbow!