Sweet Poison

it's okay, just let the pain wash you away.
feel the waves of agony crashing over your brain.
it's not as bad as it could be,
let the sweet poison course through your veins until you're empty of pain.

you watch the days pass you by one by one.
there's always another setting sun to come.
you get out of bed less and less.
your hair is always a mess.
you're praying for an escape that never comes.
all around you others move along and you wish you could do the same,
but here you are right where you've always been.

time is stealing everything from you;
your youth, health, family and chances for happiness have all walked out the door.
you'd hoped for so much more,
so take your sweet poison and sink down into the pillows.
the dreams are calling your name and life sucks when you're awake.
life is full of loss and pain.
every day you let the sweet poison take you away is a better day.

it's okay, not every one can win the fight between good and evil.
so let your ideas slide into oblivion.
your battle is more internal.
you brace yourself for all the bad to come.
somehow there's always more.
you run around in circles thinking you're fooling someone into thinking you're a mover,
but all you've done is look ridiculous to everyone.
take a bow and leave it alone,
let the sweet poison carry you home.

tomorrow brings another chance to fuck it up and you'll succeed
in the one way you desperately wish you would fail.
go home and take your sweet poison to feel better.
all your worries and fears will disappear.
you'll relax and be empty,
so empty you'll think you've floated away,
but you'll come down and realize you never left the ground.

Disarmed

i want what is bad for me.
on the sabbath day, all i can think about is you.
life threw me a curve ball on a tuesday.

i let a fox into my hen house.
i invited him in and showed him around.
his advances caught me off guard,
but now pandora's box has been opened.
dag nab it, my sexual curiosity has be reawakened!!!

my physical condition is improving.
my breathing is easing.
but men can see me now.
i fear being found attractive.
why do i have to be thinner to be healthy?
my buffer of fat is disappearing.
i'll now have learn how to interact with him.

i like my walks and i'm a bundle of energy.
the house is neat and organzied.
i feel better about myself,
but i worry about falling for a smooth one like you.
i can do it this time.
i don't know what has changed,
but i haven't panicked like before.

my life has improved.
i'm learning to love what God has given me.
i will figure out this new body.
my renewed vow of chasity will hold out.
i was temporarily disarmed by his charms,
but a voice told me to flee fornication.
thank you God, for helping me out of a sticky situation!

Healthy

the days are passing by me in a blur.
the redundancy in my work is gettting on my nerves.
i hate what i do sometimes.
i know that's not healthy,
but my feelings erupt abruptly at times.

the nights are long lonely hours.
my sleep is plagued with taunts of love.
i wake up sad.
i know it's not healthy,
but my subconscious likes to toy with me.

the weekends are full of errands.
i think if i keep moving the depression won't catch me.
i had ideas of grandeur at one time.
i know denial isn't healthy,
but it's the only thing that keeps the pain at bay.

the hours wind down on the clock.
i keep holding onto ghosts.
i am unable to resolve my internal conflicts.
i know i'm not healthy,
but i can't seem to heal my emotional wounds.

the alarm clock goes off at the same time every day.
if you compared yesterday to today, only the date would change.
i had dreams long ago.
i know regret isn't healthy,
so help me Jesus to let go and move on!