Mouth Full

isolation is salvation.
do i even need to speak today?
if you never say anything then no one can misunderstand you.

silence is golden and loose lips sinks ships.
you hurt my feelings and don't even flinch.
i wish you never spoke to me.

your words strip my soul and rape my feeling over and over.
you call yourself brutally honest.
i think you like being mean.

i'm tired of being the brunt of your jokes.
i'm sick of getting cut on your barbs.
that tongue of yours gives me goosebumps when it licks my flesh,
but chills me to the bone when it's not.

i've been avoiding you.
i thought i had toughened up, but my skin still isn't thick enough.
your voice gets under it every time you talk.

i don't want to hear you talk to me anymore.
i guess i will have to find a way to keep your mouth full.
that way i can actually enjoy your company.

Push You Out

I swing through life like tarzan on a vine. I have no future mapped out, I take it one ride at a time. You like me. You call me Sexy. I think your vision needs checked. This isn't the time. You're coming around,something wonderful, and i'm so fucked up i'll just take you down. So i'm pushing you and pushing you hard right out the door. I want you out of my life for your own good.

No one believes me when I say I'm miserable and depressed. People in my life telling me to get over it while they pop their daily anti-depressant's. My island of isolation i've run away to is my only salvation from lashing out and saying something that will hurt someone and never be forgiven or forgotten by anyone. That's why i push you, and keep pushing you right out of my life.

tonight's black inside and out all the way from the blank night sky to the pitch black darkness of my heart. if only i could find a way to turn this depression around. the doctor's are trying to find the right combination of pills to unlock this cage of mental misery i fell into to. but you're so alive. so busy. you have buddies. you have things to do that don't include spending all day in bed and crying for hours on end. that's why i push. i do it for you. i push and will keep pushing you out of my life.

the picture is clear. my life can't include you.