A Colony of One

you'd think with all the hearts i've been through,
i'd learn a thing or two about love.
i'm surprised by the outcome every time.
i've established a perimeter around my heart.
i will defend it until i die.
no one is getting behind my lines!

i'm emotionally challenged
and sexually damaged.
i can't translate body language.
my eyes are transperant,
because my soul has grown cold.

calm down, panic serves no purpose.
the sun will come up tomorrow.
i have assembled a shield of steel.
i would recommend you retreat.
there's no shame in giving up.

i never reach critical mass.
my mask is super glued to my face.
my flesh is covered with scars of my past.
i feel no pain, like a leper, my system is numb.
i reside in a colony of one
and right now i feel it is over crowded.

My Mask

let me put on my mask.
the one to hide how i feel.
my eyes will not betray
the saddness i live everyday.

walk away, i don't want to talk.
i can't say what you want to hear.
i'm no superhero for you to worship.
my mask's only power is to disguise my pain.

take another shot, i can take it.
i play tough and i can fake my way through
any emotion you want me to have.
just don't ask me why.

this mask will only tell lies.
i'll say that i am happy.
i will tell you that i care.
but all i want is to disappear.

let me put on my mask.
the one i use to hide how i feel.
i'll stand up straight.
i'll look you in the eye;
as long as have my mask on i can lie, lie, lie.

i'm saving you so much trouble.
my locking away all my anger.
my drowning out my sorrows with loud
phoney laughter and painted on smiles.

there's no need for both of us to feel the anguish of
the unfulfilled dreams and broken hearts.
i never leave home without my mask on my face.