Open Concept

i'm applying the open concept to my life.
i want to be the person you see.
hand me your glasses and let me gaze at my reflection,
because i don't understand why you love me!

i'm opening my heart and letting you in.
i haul out every ugly bit of truth before your eyes.
my lies are no longer apart of me.
i revel in the truth of our love.

the taste of us mingled upon our flesh excites me.
we come together easily, making an urgent harmony.
i echo into you and you absorb all of me.
this is a magic that transcends us both.

you can see right through me.
i look at you and i tremble with joy.
my soul sings a rapturous melody.
you bring out the very best of me.

the seconds between our moments are too many.
it seems time is our only enemy.
time steals away what should be ours.
i won't stop trying to be with you more.

colors are everywhere; they surround us.
i feel the desire hanging in the air.
this passion surpasses every expectation.
i no longer worry about tomorrow.

i can accomplish any challenge with your support.
i dream you are dreaming of me.
i feel your love filling my heart with love.
my only wish is you'd open the rest of your world to me.

it's a secret hope to be with you every day.
i want to hear you say my name every night.
i want to be the last face you see before you sleep.
i want to feel the throes of our passion in your bed.
our world's merged into one open concept!

You're The Man

my heart draws closer to you.
i'm not afraid anymore!
i'm looking into your hazel eyes with those gold flecks just lost in the moment.
we lean into each other; i'm breathing your breath!
this turn of events saved me from being depressed.
i was on the verge of surrendering to the darkness within me.
your smile lit back up my world!
you're the man i want to love for the rest of my life!

i can't keep this grin off of my face.
every one wants to tear us down.
every clown wants me to wear a frown.
i take their two cents and give them three cents back.
i don't care what they think; i only care about you!
you're the man that i'll keep!

i'm mesmerized by your casual off-handed comments.
if you say you'll never leave i'll believe.
you worry about me and i'll worry about you.
i see the road ahead so clearly with you.
we're going at warp speed but it's what we need.
you're the man i would say i do to!

if you forget i love you i'll remind you.
when life gets rough i'll hold on tighter.
i want to build the future together.
we can create an inferno with our love's fire!
i'll never forget the day we met.
give me your heart and we'll never part.
i know how hard it is to keep love alive,
but you're the man worth the fight!

Marriage and Crazy Bombs

my heart is heavy with love for you.
every time you enter me it feel like the first time.
i can't tell you enough how much i need you.
if i affirm your hold on me, will you stay?

i have to touch you when you are near, it's a reflex.
last night i cried and my knees gave out on me!
no man has ever given me this level of pleasure before.
you break me down then build me up even higher.

you mentioned marriage and crazy bombs last night.
i can't believe marriage is on your mind!
the only crazy thing i got in my head right now is your dick!
i'm not perfect, but you are the best anti-depressant i've ever been on!

you treat me with affection and respect.
your touch is perfection, your kiss brings me bliss.
you never miss the mark; you know my heart!
i can't wait to bare your child!
i can't wait to see you hold her!
to know the two of us created her out of our love for each other!
my hopes soar when i'm with you.

you say you'll never let me go.
you talk about me dumping you, but that's something i'd never do!
i finally know where i belong.
i can't wait to jump into your arms.

i'm all in and ready to roll.
whatever you want; whatever you need;
i'm here to help you feel as alive as you make me!
this is forever - you and i - this is right!

Cheesy Rhyme

you make me ache. you make me quake.
this fire you've sparked burns out the dark.
i won't hesitate to be the one thing you celebrate.
my entire heart's at stake, please take!

lonely and bored you found me and made me your whore.
i hunger for your touch. i love you too much.
i adore your ambition. i am ready to receive your ammunition.
you have a lock on my heart, you hold the key to me!

bring it to me. have me choke it down!
hold on to me, even while you make me drown!
this fever grips me inside out! make me yearn!
i don't want you to ever stop! make me burn!

you have my heart in your hands. do you understand?
this ground i'm on is moving fast. do you think we'll last?
life didn't prepare me for you. will you teach me the drill?
i'm sinking into your quicksand. will you offer me your hand?

i meditate to the tune of your heart beat. i swoon when you sweep me off my feet.
there's no where else for me to fall. i have to have you all!
please cum in me tonight! i beg you to give me your baby to make it alright!
the thought of you inside me makes me hunger for you all night!

deep inside of my soul you awoke my dead dreams.
i had lost all my hopes until i stared into your hazel eyes for the first time.
now i pace with anticipation of your every kiss.
i can't express how much i miss you when you're gone.

i'm falling harder and faster then ever before.
you're the one i'm betting it all on.
i won't quit until every last bit of you is mine.
our hearts are becoming synchronized!

i read every text a million times. i want you all the time.
i can't let this go. i can't let you be.
i hang on every word you speak. you make me weak.
this will never be enough. i adore you way to much.

i spin around like i'm dancing on a cloud.
you've become my drug. i crave you insatiably.
you're my lover extraordinary under the covers.
i suck you dry to get my fix! we are the perfect mix!

i talk about you all day! my friends wish you'd go away.
i want to ride you like there's no tomorrow.
i want to make us both scream and holler.
whatever the price i will pay it to get you to stay!

this feeling elevates me to crown you my king.
i worship every move you make.
i long for you to touch me and make me shake.
there's nothing i'd rather do then to fuck you!

you've overtaken my senses. you leave me defenseless.
i'm blinded by your light. only you make wrong seem right.
i think about you day and night.
no cheesy rhyme can capture what we have with each other.

i still try to document all these emotions running over me.
my static vision focuses only on your cares.
i want to fly away with you somewhere near.
where time won't pass and we can retire into each other at last!

Waiting to Inhale

i'm out of pop and patience waiting on you.
my heart is empty as Jesus' tomb.
you keep leading me into the fire,
but i hit a dead end when you're gone.

i'm sitting here holding a tissue and a pen.
waiting to inhale your exhale once again.
i got a song creeping into my head
cuz you left my heart bleeding again!

there's anticipation and then there's playing games.
i'm at a loss at which one this is.
do you even know what you do to me?
i keep waiting to inhale your exhale once again.

it's been one week and three days without your breath against my flesh.
i hunger and i ache to feel your skin.
the taste of you does me in.
you say you're a hurtin' too,
but you aren't here, so am i the fool?

i'm thinking about the last time you came.
my body was cooling while my heart caught fire.
you burned me down from the inside out.
can i trust you with my war torn heart?

there's joy then there's bait and switch.
i'm confused everyday on which this will be.
do you care that you tie me in a knot?
i keep waiting to inhale your exhale once again.
i feel like i'll be waiting until i die!

My New Heart

you caught me with my walls down.
you walked right in and staked your claim.
i don't want to fight this.
i'm letting you take control.
i'm letting go!

hearts beat to different drums
but when i'm with you we beat as one.
goodbyes, tears and fears fade away.
my dreams dance around your face.
i want to be yours!

i caught your eye on a lucky day,
but you make your own luck you say!
i find my mind stuck on you.
i can't wait for you to take me.
i'm yearning and burning for you to be inside of me!
i'm losing control!

i feel dainty and sexy with you.
you make me be more of a woman.
i don't waste time on being insecure.
there's a twinkle in your eyes.
with your strength i feel strong.
in your arms i finally belong!

i'm have the time of my life;
exploring my submissive side.
i've waited so long for a man like you.
i'd do anything to have you smile at me.
my own needs are met when i meet yours.
this is the start of my new heart!

Favorite Chocolate Bar

i'm inhaling the leftover scent of your cologne.
i try to capture your intense presence in a jar.
your hazel eyes inspired me to fall.
i want to take this feeling and hang it up like a poster on my wall.
you could be my idol and i could be your doll,
but i'm not grammy material.
and the music we made ended on the wrong note.
now your voice is lost to me!

i want to recycle my memories into toys for poor kids
or maybe turn myself into your favorite chocolate bar,
then you would love me as much as pooh bear loves his honey.
please change your cooling affections!
it's sunday maybe by thursday you'll want me again.
i'm nowhere without your hands dancing with desire over my skin.
i feel like i've fallen into an empty pit of despair;
instead of you keeping me warm i wear thermal underwear.

take a laser and carve you out of my brain.
be thorough, i want to forget every little thing.
why couldn't you like me the most?
if you were a drug i'd be your abuser.
the words growled under your breath fester like open wounds upon my flesh.
open up my chest and remove my heart;
it's not important to me if you aren't here for me to love!

Dearest MeeMaw

In Honor of Brownie Irene Lock 9/3/1923 - 12/13/2011

Dearest MeeMaw i'm lost in memories of you.
Your sweet smile and child like giggles haunt my mind.
My world lost an effervescent light this morning.
Your love helped to anchor me in the darkest of times.
2am God took your beautiful soul back home.
He knows how much I love you.

My head hurts from trying to hold back these tears.
I'm working hard to overcome my fears.
Your pain is over and your blessings are fulfilled.
I feel selfish for still wanting you here.
I didn't call or visit as often as I should have,
but you were always near and dear to me.

I'm your little Irene and now your my guardian angel.
You'll never be far from my thoughts
And you'll always be with me in my heart.
I love you Brownie Irene.
You have always made the world a better place for me.
God take good care of her up there.
She spent her life loving you too.

Her faith never waivered.
Where I had doubts she embraced it all.
I wish I could be more like her.
Strong, Independent, Devoted, and Determined is what comes to mind when I try to describe her.
I love her and miss her so much already.
May peace be upon your soul, my beloved MeeMaw.
This little Irene will try her best to make you proud!

Gone with the Sunrise

how many days will it take for these blues to go away?
when will my heart finally be whole again?
inside of my mind all i have is unanswered questions.
inside my heart there's unrequited love.
i'm searching for solutions to all the above.

he seduces me with his hazel eyes
and husky voiced phrases, like you're beautiful.
it's everything i wanted to hear,
but the doubts still call out, he's a liar.
they're all liars.
i need him to keep the pain at bay,
but he won't be here forever.
he's like all the others, gone with the sunrise.

when will i be loved for who i am?
what am i doing wrong with all these men?
why can't i sustain a relationship with them?
am i that broken?
my mind swirls and twirls over every failed attempt at happily ever after.
my heart is a blank open book.
i'm searching for resolutions to all the above.

he winks at me and grins while he kisses my neck.
charm and sweetness are dripping from his tongue.
he's handsome and smooth.
he says he's different, not to worry, he's sticking around.
i love the script he's reading from, but my fears are on high alert.
he's lying.
they'll say anything to get laid.
i only want him so i can spend one less night alone.
he won't be here forever.
he's like all the others, gone with the sunrise.

so'm i'm still asking questions that hurt.
i still want answers, but know they won't come easily.
change and i aren't well aquainted.
but i know true love doesn't happen on your own.
so i'll go through a million sunrises if that's what it takes to get it right!

My Exorcism

cast out the demons with holy water
leave the blood dripping from my eyes
bury me alive
catch my killer
i saw her in the reflection of the butcher knife
she looked just like me except for her eyes
her eyes were wild and crazy
she's bitter and hurt
she stabbed me almost 100 times right through my heart
until she collapsed from exhaustion

life was supposed to be a party full of presents, cake, and laughter
what i got never crossed my mind, but here it is
my misery colors my eyes midnight blue
i'll sneak out to the back so y'all can get on with my exorcism

throw me to the sharks one piece at a time
the blood smells like burnt flesh
as it dries on my hands i begin to understand
i'll never be safe from myself
one day i'll successfully kill me
only i could cut right through my own heart with one sure stroke
i'm angry and hurt
i want to pull apart my two sides
let the good happy side of me free
and bury the depressed angry me alive so i can hear her screams

life was supposed to be a party
but no on invited me
so i drink alone everyday
i'm not sleeping.
the blood shot eyes, the pill bottles everywhere,
i'm out back listening to y'all's happy chatter
wondering how long this attempted exorcism will last

I Forget or Shallow Pool

a waterfall of tears rain down my cheeks into my shallow pool of emotions.
i've been doing construction to rebuild the good soldier.
i used to be able to go 24/7 and not let life slow me down
and i never brokedown to cry.
although i'm lost, people look at me with hope in their eyes.
i need to get better at hiding how sick i've become.

auction off my soul to the lowest ebay bidder.
there's nowhere to go but down.
i hit the bottom and i keep digging into the stone of my heart.
i forget all the time what once was mine.
like you. like her. like happiness.
i forget it all so easily.

the trappings of success are seductively soft.
i want just to want.
my own desires a mirror of what i see on the tv set.
i don't know what i want because you haven't told me yet.
i can't finish...

pick up what's left of my smile.
it used to light up the world.
now i've metamorphosised into despair wrapped up in layers of lies.
i'm scared i'll let go and loose control.
i'm too destructive to be in the public eye.
if i were a rabid dog i'd been euthanized for everyone's safety by now.

burnt beyond recognition, i try to pass for a humane human being.
the clock tells me time is running out.
the calendar marks off the days until my final performance.
i always overstay my welcome.
i crash into lives uninvited.
i already tried to be someone i'm not.
it's just time for me to stop!

Power Surge

i'm having a power surge!
i feel strong and ready to take on the world.
maybe it was the sex or dropping 2 more pounds,
but i want to skip, jump, and dance all day long!

life takes an unexpected turn,
you thought you were done, but you talked it out.
now he's back, but nothing's clear.
all you have is how wonderful he makes you feel!

i'm not thinking, i'm just going with the flow.
there's no second guessing, no future planning,
just him holding me close.
i don't have any other plans,
so why can't i just have some fun!
this isn't a relationship, we're just screwing around.

i'm cracking, popping, snapping and i love it.
i feel on top of the world and i want more.
these hormones got me wound up or maybe it's him,
but i want to do him over and over again.

sex was never the problem.
we've always done that beyond well.
it's our personalities that keep on clashing.
we're both control freaks wanting to have the last word!

this isn't a fairytale and there's no happy ending.
i won't stick a label on it or try to defend it.
i have him for now and i'm going to just enjoy it.
i'm switching off my brain and letting my sexual needs drive this thing.

if i should let me heart back into his domain then i'm the idiot.
he's been very clear, he's not staying forever.
so i'm jumping off this cliff of uncertainty with both feet.
i'm accepting that i will probably get hurt,
but all i want is how he makes me feel!

Peace and Words

nothing i write will add up to anything of consequence.
if the power of words could bring peace to every heart,
who would not hesitate to jot them down?
who would not read them?
who would not repeat them like a mantra?
who would not spread these perfect words to every one else?

the viral community spreads both bad and good.
there's no balance in actions to be had between the two.
i've opened my ears and heart to listen for and receive a message.
the bounty of trust isn't enough to cover this sinner's debts.

i am learning patience.
the task is more difficult then i understood it to be,
but if patience were simple, everyone would have it.
i construct a newer and stronger infastructure around myself.
i will need to drop my extra baggage.
i am steadfast in this opportunity to better myself.

my attempts to capture emotions are unsatisfactory.
mere text can not map out the complexities of my feelings.
i wanted in faith and i doubted, yet hoped.
my tongue is not attached to my mind.
my heart speaks faster then i can comply.
data is lost in the mazes of my brain.
i am sad that you have to see me this way.

i've painted my moods upon spiral canvases for decades now.
i have reviewed my musings many times,
but my reflections have left me disappointed.
my follies are immense and i repeat my mistakes often.
my heart is blind, deaf and very dumb.
but when it wants something it communicates to me via loudspeaker
and all other logic is trumped by its desires.

my words are my crimes.
i cataloged them for my own persecution.
they read like a cheap torrid romance novel.
i want him. i need him. i love him.
he does't want me. he doesn't love me.
i bore myself to tears!
the subject of love continues to vex me.
i'm tired of chasing it.
i'm not hiding, so why can't it find me?

Yes, if i could find the words to bring peace to every heart,
i'd hold them close and say only them for the rest of my days.
peace is the absence of love.
peace is the disappearance of thought.
only peace can calm my love drunk heart.

A Colony of One

you'd think with all the hearts i've been through,
i'd learn a thing or two about love.
i'm surprised by the outcome every time.
i've established a perimeter around my heart.
i will defend it until i die.
no one is getting behind my lines!

i'm emotionally challenged
and sexually damaged.
i can't translate body language.
my eyes are transperant,
because my soul has grown cold.

calm down, panic serves no purpose.
the sun will come up tomorrow.
i have assembled a shield of steel.
i would recommend you retreat.
there's no shame in giving up.

i never reach critical mass.
my mask is super glued to my face.
my flesh is covered with scars of my past.
i feel no pain, like a leper, my system is numb.
i reside in a colony of one
and right now i feel it is over crowded.

Only God Knows

i'm trying to stay positive.
it's hard when negativity hits me every day.
how many blows to my soul can i take?
only God knows. only God knows.

i try to be optimistic.
i got bad news today.
how many times can i be disappointed?
only God knows. only God knows.

i try to be helpful.
i always offer a helping hand.
how long can i withstand all the rejection?
only God knows. only God knows.

i get worn out.
my life seems endlessly tough.
when will my trials end?
only God knows. only God knows.

i dare not forsake my faith.
i can't always feel good.
how will i move forward?
only God knows my heart.
only God knows me.

How I Know

it hurts a little bit less today.
my dreams last night were free of you.
i can smile and it reaches my eyes.
my heartbeats don't echo anymore.
time is working her magic on my wounded soul.
that's how i know i'm getting over you!

my focus is back.
i can concentrate on work again.
my days don't drag on without end.
my mind doesn't race when i go to bed.
seasons are changing and so am i.
that's how i know i can live without you!

every song no longer reminds me of you.
i can laugh and enjoy a conversation now.
my tears have dried up.
i don't feel depressed anymore.
the roads are wide open.
that's how i know i will be okay!

three months ago i was devastated.
my heart torn into pieces.
my soul howling with pain.
every breathe a struggle.
i thought a day like today would never come, but it has.
and that's how i know loving you didn't kill me after all!

A Badly Written Sonnet For You

Dearest friend of mine, I wrestle with my heart.
My thoughts have become entwined with yours.
The closer we become the more I fear we'll fall apart.
You've snuck through all my defenses to my core.

Alone, I struggled in the world for so long.
My hopes had faded until sorrow ruled.
But you found me here, like a song,
I began to feel chords long subdued.

Your smile and laughter are music to my soul.
Just as I had forgotten how to love,
Your honest words filled my emotional holes.
Crazy as it sound, you fit me like a glove.

My beloved man, take me by my hand.
Together, we click, certain to never disband.