Eleven Hours

eleven hours to think
hundreds of miles to contemplate
i tried to find what makes my heart beat on the freeway
all these open spaces laid out in strange places
have me wishing i could be more open minded sometimes
possibilities unrealized dot my recent past
life's epilogue is approaching me fast
when did i become so rigid?

i have her face in the front of my mind
her sweet voice praying to God for me all the time
my broken soul like a moth to the bug zapper
i want what burns me the most
i can't be her little irene anymore
i'm not good enough to honor her memory
when did i become so bitter?

eleven hours in the same car seat
i stare out the window lost in memories
the scenery flies by me unacknowledged
my internal turmoil doing damage
i wrap up tight in her message
the photos in my purse all i have left
she was confident God loved me too
when did i become so lost?

Pictures

a picture of love full of smiles
no pictures of the down times
when the tears are being cried
when you curl up & think ur dying
no those r only snapshots in our minds
never forget a picture is worth 1,000 words

i have dreams displaced in time & space
i'm walking in my hometown
down the bottom of the hill on shady lane
towards the dead end
i see this surreal creepy house
surrounded my a wasteland
i am transported inside of it
running in crazy circles screaming to get out
what's it mean, i don't know
i can't even drive down that street
just in case the house is there
i don't want to know
a picture i took as a child
scares me so bad even though i'm an adult
some pictures are better left alone

i took your pictures and put them away
it's a waste to dwell so deep in the past
you forget there's a future ahead of you
but on miserable days i find myself
drawn to the closet
to the bottom of the shoe boxes
looking into your eyes
knowing this is as close to you
i'll ever get again.
bittersweet pictures bring the taste of my tears
to my lips