DNA's Bitch

i'm just overflowing with prose this early am
better then staring at the ceiling i guess
i want to ask questions
i'm feeling frustrated at the world
why am i not getting better
why isn't this medicine doing anything
why did i get worse
why why why am i the way i am
i don't want to be me
i'll be 35 and nowhere

i'm so pissed off at me
let's list all the things i hate about me
my hair, my face, my fat, my laziness
my apathy, my lack of a social life,
my inability to build a social life.
my jaded and cynical approach to men.
my faded sense of humor.
my moles and freckles.
my eyebrows.
my elbows.
my stretch marks.
i can't think a linear thought.
why did i fall apart
why did one man undo me
why do i wallow in my misery
why why why am i the way i am
i don't want to be me
i don't want to be nowhere
and this is nowhere
welcome to my nowhere

my left brain knocked on my right brain
and no one answered
i have no skills, no talent, no hobbies
i'm boring and odd
downright over the top weird
i say the wrong thig at the right time
i've created so many akward silences
i should be in the book of world records
i'm beginning to turn to food again
to soothe these feelings of unworthiness

yeah, i know
quit moaning
quit groaning
quit bitching
quit stop cease desist pause rewind
and question everything
a second opinion is a good thing
i'll be crazy no matter where i go
or who i talk to
i've been crazy since i was a kid
i'd do strange things for no reason
smash windows, destroy toys, shove
other kids down to hear them cry
i was one mean little bitch
and now i'm an old vindictive bitch
i guess you really don't change with age
why why why am i the way i am
ah, fuck it
i don't care anymore
so why the fuck should you

stop reading my damn blogs
they're only going to get more
broken down and demented and twisted
i'm degrading one bloody brain cell at a time
that's why i am the way i am
dna babes it's a bitch