Chain Thinking

i get up out of bed. i hear a drum beating inside my head.
my stomach's upset. nothing found to settle it yet.
a million thoughts running through my head.
no peace inside. no calm or time to ponder.
it is what it is. no ability here. no skill set.
zero accomplished. no spell check. am i a minority yet?

faster doesn't make me better. hands shaking.
clothes dripping in sweat. i'm hoping you haven't noticed it.
this paradox i'm trapped against will be my death march.
corporate ladder or funeral procession, no difference to me.
just one more day to cross off of the calendar.

i'm frenzied on the inside. quiet and cold on the outside.
i can't let it unfold. i need to uphold my image.
smile and nod. ask a pertinent question.
do as i am told. give the right answers.
choice is null and void. i have to do this.

pull myself out of bed. get dressed.
suppress the urge to call in sick.
get in line. do the corporate grind.
my future is bleak as i live week to week.
another day with drums beating in my head.
out the door. on my way so i get paid.

more caffeine instead of booze.
i hate that i have to choose.
got a song in my ear. i want to sing along,
but i can't cuz i'm in the office with my headphones on.
won't make that mistake again!

the clock goes slow. slower then slow.
all i want is for 5 o'clock to arrive.
i want to go. i love it. nothing like it.
i tell myself every day. i say, yeah, baby,
you're living the american dream!!!
one day maybe i'll believe me~!