Doomed

the urge to call or text is overwhelming.
you pulled the plug.
you ended it.
i was brave at work, i swallowed my tears,
but on the way home i cried like i hadn't in years.

i'm so confused.
i don't know what to do.
so i'm suffering alone on the couch,
hopelessly lost because i couldn't figure you out.

your reaction surprised me.
we have a mutual acquaintance.
it should have been an it's a small world after all moment,
but you exploded and freaked out on me.
then you accused me of being a creepy cyber stalker,
like i was hunting you and your friends down online.

you didn't even say you were sorry.
you began to grill me.
things spiraled out of control.
then you said i was too much drama
and you let me go!

i'm hurt and sad but not mad.
i'm giving you time and space.
all my friend think you're hiding something
and that is why you got up in my face,
but i just miss you being at my place.

this love still echos inside of me.
i'm ruined by you and now i'm without you.
i feel doomed!

A Million Dandelions

he asked for my soul,
i handed it over; no doubts, no hesitation, no fears;
he asked for my lust,
i gave him all i had then he left and i got more;
he gave me his seed,
i'm trying to use it to fill a hole inside of me;
he gave me his love,
i took it and screamed at him it's not enough;

now we've reached reality,
the ecstatic mood has been broken;
an awkwardness has engulfed our every interaction,
my rational thoughts are flooding back to me;
the bell can not be unrung,
his hazel eyes have seen me crazy;

now there's secrets and lies,
i feel dirty, ashamed and unworthy;
he can't forget what his absence bore,
and i can't escape who i am when i'm not his whore;
time draws us closer to the bitter end,
love can't mend shredded dreams;

i stumbled over the ghost's of lovers past,
he boiled and now he simmers over it in his mind;
i snuck across a digital line,
my friend my fault and i agree;
i'm my own worst enemy and my own best friend;

i keep hope alive on caffeine and pizza,
he works himself into a numb living death;
i'll bury us under a million dandelions,
our love will never be gone;
we will forever float in the wind,
the seeds of us planting where ever they land!