Don't Hesitate

don't hesitate, take my breath, breathe life into yourself at my expense.
sacrifice me for a greater good; disappear into his light.
when i'm on my own my heart struggles to thrive.
if i give myself to you i become stable once more.

i'm stubborn, selfish, and greedy in this minute i see all my life behind me
and ahead of me and there's only misery everywhere i have ever been.
i stay true to myself and it is killing me one day at a time!
i am merely human. on my own i stand alone.

if i'm brave enough to let you take over i will be whole again.
i'm scared. it is natural for me to hold back bits of me.
i fight even though i know this is right.
control is a game i was never meant to win.
so here i go down your road leaving behind all i've ever known.

these gifts you've given me have been misspent.
all my years i've failed to repent.
my sins are small in quality but overwhelming in quantity.
i always flinch when you stare into me.
now i must overcome every action i have taken.
i give you the power, go crazy with that wrecking ball.
rebuild this broken house into your palace.
i want you to live here, in me, with me, as me;
i want to be one with you, better inside and out.

we passed by the detour.
now we go on the long and winding road.
every bump, every curve, and every hill has to be felt.
my soul is in sorry shape, i let myself go long ago.
don't hesitate, not tomorrow, but now, it starts right now!
i exercise my right to choose!
God, I choose you!!!
Jesus, I choose you!!!
Salvation, I choose you!!!

Wings

under these wings i hide many things
like lots of strings,
odd little bits
and craziness.

there will be no flying.
there is no wind blowing.
so sit tight little bird,
tomorrow brings lift for
under those wings,
God gave you as a gift.

Fear Floats

i fill up on excuses.
my heart contracts.
the piano melody dances.
all the pieces never fit.
i wrote down the lies.
my breathe lingers.
the dryer vibrates.
all my questions unanswered.

fear floats and spreads like disease.
i held you as tight at i could,
but you slipped through me.
i wanted to be your last stop on a long train of pain.

i tabulate the denials.
my ears heard.
the tv colors flash.
all the problems unsolved.
i dine on the promises.
my stomach churns.
the darkness blankets me.
all my hopes unfulfilled.

doubt sinks and drowns dreams.
i gave you every part of me,
but you returned my gifts unopened.
i thought i'd be the last one you'd need to love.

Fleas

the weekend revealed to me your melancholy mood.
my gift to you has fleas
and he pees everywhere.
but he was your wish and i love being a genie for you.

we went to a movie.
we shared a meal.
you were distant,
but i didn't care.

the first night we laid together without getting laid.
it was different.
you thought it was refreshing and
i am concerned.

i tried to be me like usual.
but i think you picked up on the undercurrents.
you drifted off not dreaming of me
and i'm thinking there's trouble ahead.

this time you stayed 2 nights in a row.
it's progress, but it's slow.
you have so much on your mind.
you need to see how much you offer
and know i want everything you have to give.