Winter's Wind

i look inside of you, you have a heart so cold i cry for you;
because i know tears will never fall from your eyes.
hold your hands up to your face
and feel the cold of the winter's wind against your skin,
it's like the slap of your rejection,
that's how it felt to me when you broke my heart.

high above on my medically induced cloud nine i reflect upon this journey with you.
i wanted too little.
you wanted too much.
we never could agree on anything.

broken down.
broken hearted.
i'm broken inside and out.
i had my cracks before you came, but now i'm broken apart from this pain.

i've greived a little too long for something i never really wanted.
i had some spirit left, just enough to cover up the lies.
it worked, until the secret grew bigger then me
and took a life of its own.
all i could do was wait for the explosion.

now i'm still cleaning up the aftermath
and the winter's wind has come again.
its sting to my exposed flesh reminds me of you.
it's as if your hurtful and abusive mouth never left.

i have have to move on or I'll never get out of this mess.
i thought you were gone forever,
but you're still a pain in my ass with hateful emails full of threats.
i guess the games aren't over for you yet.
you were always a sore loser;
that's the only thing about you i know for sure is true.

i'm tired of my doubts.
i'll burn them and your memory once the divorce goes through.
maybe out there somewhere there's a better one for me.
i'm thinking about him i wonder if he's thinking about me.
hell, i'd rather be with anyone but you.

i'm chasing these ghosts of you away.
i toss them out my door and let the winter's wind carry them back to you.
i'm done being your fool.

Imperfections

the wind blows cold on this monday morning.
the rain came in and washed away all that we had,
but i have your hand to hold, that's enough to get me by.
i love every one of your imperfections.
how you smell like cigarettes when you told me you quit smoking.

the house is a complete loss.
the photographs a mess of wet paper.
all the memories dissolved into a blob,
but you're hugging me hard and that's all i need.
i love every one of your imperfections.
your goatee and shaved head looks like every other man right now,
i can't get you to change it, so i just kiss your chin.

the cars are rusting out.
the motorcycle won't start.
we're living on the boat, never thought that would happen,
but we're laughing and eating smores, life is good.
i love every one of your imperfections.
how you tell me i'm the most beautiful woman in the world,
when i just saw you check that jogger out.

it wouldn't be this way if you weren't you.
the saddness would overwhelm me just like the water overran our stuff,
but you go out of your way to make me feel okay.
i love every one of your imperfections.
i think they are the best parts of you!

Wings

under these wings i hide many things
like lots of strings,
odd little bits
and craziness.

there will be no flying.
there is no wind blowing.
so sit tight little bird,
tomorrow brings lift for
under those wings,
God gave you as a gift.

A Perfect Afternoon

the wind is blowing through me,
like an invisible lover, it caresses me.
i raise my head towards the sunshine.
i close my eyes and savor the warmth.
i've been so cold for too long.

i inhale deeply the scent of summer air.
i walk barefoot on the damp grass.
i had forgotten how it tickles.
i've missed the leaves on the trees
and how it seems they are whispering to me,
when the wind blows through them.

the rain has stayed for far too long.
the dirt no longer can hold it all.
the clouds move quickly,
like they are in a hurry to pass me by.
i know the weather will be changing soon.
here in Ohio it always does,
but i'm enjoying this, a perfect afternoon.

Bugs

driving down this endless road,
my hand out the window,
trying to catch the wind.
the bugs sting my palm as their
guts stain my hand red.
i try to focus on the lights ahead,
but the darkness swallows them one by one.

i keep running.
i don't know why.
i'm not searching for anything,
because i know there's nothing to find.
i think as little as possible.
i'll stop running when my pain ends.
but i don't know when that'll be.

i keep my head down as the strangers walk past.
my eyes have secrets and
i keep my secrets to myself.
i'd seek forgiveness for my sins
if i thought my soul was worth it.

i keep running.
i never get tired of the path.
i circle around when i get to a dead end.
i know my running will never end.
i can't out run this pain i'm in.

if i dare to remember the pain rips me in half.
there's too many emotional bombs set to go off in my past.
relflection gets me nothing but misery.
i'm neck deep in fake sympathy.
no one understands, so i keep running.
until one day i pray my pain will end.