White/Black/Grey

there's a fire in my belly and a song in my heart.
my life's a puzzle and all the pieces have been lost.
even God with his almighty hand cannot move me.
inside my head power lingers misplaced.
i drive through the memories looking for your face.
somewhere within these neurons is the place i need to be.
lock me up and throw away the key.
white has never looked very good on me.

your peace lily is wilting; your love is dying.
time is an illusion of endless misery.
turn off the fear and doubts;
build me a bridge back to my former self,
before i find the door to insanity.
you always were a light pushing away my night's.
now there's no love shining on me.
i'm counting down the days until the darkness carries me away.
black goes with everything they say.


i'm a million pieces sowed together with cheap thread.
the tears are showing and my nerves are fraying.
i hunch over your words and hoping you can save me.
the thoughts swirl in and out of my ears.
i draw upon what's left of my faith.
my eyes have too many unshed tears.
i can't go back to where i was, but i can't go where you want me.
grey suites me because it's the color of my eyes!

Bat Shit Crazy

you filled me up a couple of times.
i feed upon your need of me.
you know the tip of my iceberg,
but what lies below my pink flesh is deep.
i don't know yet if it'll sink us or if you can swim through this!

i see rough waters ahead.
you aren't the only one with crazy in the genes.
my own blood fights sensible choices.
you tell me you're the normal one compared to who you're related to.
in my family i'm the normal one too, but i'm still bat shit crazy!

i fear exposing all of who i am to you.
scenarios play out to a captive audience in my head.
my dreams are filled with doom and gloom.
the economy looks robust compared to my hopes for us.
i count the days we've been together.
i'm amazed i've held it together this long.
you're the calm in the eye of my inner storm.
i hope you're strong!

i want to be swept away by you.
pick me up and carry me away.
be my calgon!
be my hero!
i put too much baggage upon your shoulders.
i fret about you throwing out your back.
right now it's alright, but i know how quickly the tides change.

i don't get you all the time.
i'm a small piece in the puzzle of your life.
my greed pushes me to plead for more of you.
right now you're flattered and amused.
i believe the power i give to you binds you too.
we've bonded to each other's weaknesses.
i'm hoping by the time you see my flip side you're in to deep to flee.

the swing moves even when i'm not in the seat.
my emotions constantly push it.
sometimes it's gentle, back and forth,
almost hypnotic, it sways.
but sudden and violent changes take place.
up in the air i go, higher then i can fly.
back over dead territory and digging up graves,
then i jump for my life
and down to the ground i crash and cave!

be proud you say!
be you you say!
i believe i still love you.
sometimes i will say or do harm to you.
forgive me when you throw me away.
i know what i'm doing but i do it anyways.
bat shit crazy makes me this way!
sometimes

Cookie Cutter Girls

i'm looking back at who you say you are.
i see a long line of cookie gutter girls dangling from your arm.
you put their paper hearts up on your wall,
like a serial killer collecting trophies you've claimed their souls.
this half-hearted attempt at trying to win me over,
is exposing the emptiness inside of you.

you talk about how beautiful i am.
the way you love how the light in my eyes dances when i laugh.
you make hundreds of impossible promises,
like the words can't catch up to your lies.
it's not alright, the way you play with others scars.

your tearing all the ice off of my skin,
like you know how to make me remember what it's like to be alive again.
you missed my queues on how cold i really am.
you aren't going to be collecting kisses from my lips.
my soul is a ghost counting down the time,
until i get to leave all of this behind.

you talk about how perfect i am.
the way you love how my lips curve when i smile.
you make hundreds of impossible promises,
like the world can't catch you in any of your lies.
i won't let you snare me in your butterfly net.
it's not alright, the way you toy with others hearts.

come on, who are we kidding?
you don't really want me.
you want to pin my paper heart up on your wall.
but i'm so broken apart i keep the leftover pieces of me in a jar.
and you can't put me back together again.
remember, neither one of us is capable of love.
we both run around playing catch me if you can.
it's not alright, how we tease with others thoughts.