Every Minute

for every minute i'm up there's 10 that i'm down,
but i hide the sad from you.
your wants supercede mine.
i drift away into impossible thoughts.
knowledge cripples my emotions.
i would abandon reason to be your friend.

our bridge is barely standing.
i keep chipping away at its foundation.
the urge to blow us all to hell tackles me to the ground.
destruction makes me feel.
i don't deserve to be close to you.

you aren't responsible for me.
we were two limbidos doing a vertical limbo.
you can let go because you never held on.
we'll never know how high we could've gone.
i imploded from arguments we only had in my head.
there's a thousands of words i heard that you never said.

crazier things happen every day.
why can't you be with me?
obstacles are meant to be overcome.
there's never still water in your heart.
i'm too unique and hard to forget.
i leave an imprint.

for every minute i spend without you there's 10 i'm wanting to hold you,
but i hide the love from you.
your dreams trump mine.
i build you up in my fantasies.
obsession takes over all logic.
i would kill her to keep you here with me till the end.

Chills Down Their Spines

i've finally achieved the impossible, i've become invisible.
it seems only my dad and daughter can see me.
everyone else looks right through me.
my existence forgotten, my image lost, i am no one!

i'd pray to God if i thought it'd help.
i'd lose more weight if i thought it'd make a difference.
i can alter my external appearance a million ways,
but i'd still be imperfect.

i want to bend until i break.
i want to surrender and be killed by friendly fire.
i'd love to be lovable, but i'm not.
i'd like to be popular, but i won't.
you realize early on some things never change.

i'm in love with wanting to be in love.
the concept is a wonderful sweeping and grand gesture.
reality is a harsher and much closer friend.
the truth depends on who you talk to.
there's not a single formula to create the person in your dreams.

i think in milliseconds that i'm a terrible person.
these negative affirmations never end.
i'll have them dance on my grave before i'm even dead.
the show could go on forever.
if only i could reach deeply into my mind to find the moment where my happiness died,
i might be able to revive it.

my misconceptions have outgrown me now.
every one can see i'm broken somehow.
i'm ignored by all.
people don't want to see me, because it's painful.
the thought of me sends chills down their spines,
because we all know there's a little bit of me in them.

Cookie Cutter Girls

i'm looking back at who you say you are.
i see a long line of cookie gutter girls dangling from your arm.
you put their paper hearts up on your wall,
like a serial killer collecting trophies you've claimed their souls.
this half-hearted attempt at trying to win me over,
is exposing the emptiness inside of you.

you talk about how beautiful i am.
the way you love how the light in my eyes dances when i laugh.
you make hundreds of impossible promises,
like the words can't catch up to your lies.
it's not alright, the way you play with others scars.

your tearing all the ice off of my skin,
like you know how to make me remember what it's like to be alive again.
you missed my queues on how cold i really am.
you aren't going to be collecting kisses from my lips.
my soul is a ghost counting down the time,
until i get to leave all of this behind.

you talk about how perfect i am.
the way you love how my lips curve when i smile.
you make hundreds of impossible promises,
like the world can't catch you in any of your lies.
i won't let you snare me in your butterfly net.
it's not alright, the way you toy with others hearts.

come on, who are we kidding?
you don't really want me.
you want to pin my paper heart up on your wall.
but i'm so broken apart i keep the leftover pieces of me in a jar.
and you can't put me back together again.
remember, neither one of us is capable of love.
we both run around playing catch me if you can.
it's not alright, how we tease with others thoughts.