Power Over Me

you'd think after all these years i'd forget what you did,
but it all comes back to me too easily.
once you've been violated it never leaves your memory.
now i weep because someone i love now knows the pain i've tried to let go,
but the pain never forgets my name!

i remember the sounds and the smells of that day like it was this morning
your words still whisper to me in the middle of my night terrors
i was so young and naive
i thought it was innocent fun, but it got ugly so quickly.
i walked out of your bedroom in silence.
i still can't talk about it.
we never had sex again!
you haunt me and i'm sick of your fat ass'd ghost hanging around!

time is supposed to heal all wounds,
but i'm so scarred it's ridiculous.
every man i'm with i wonder if he'll hurt me like you did.
i've tried to move on, but it creeps into every relationship i've ever had.
the damage is mine to keep.
i'm not sure i helped her, but it's more then i did for myself.

i've wasted too much time in the past.
i need to move on.
the injuries that remain are all psychological.
he never thought he did anything wrong.
i wasn't strong,
but now i know how to make a stand.
the statue has expired,
but i'm done with it!
i'm over being his victim.
he no longer has any power over me!

Long Long Road

if our paths were to cross, if you were to stumble and fall, my name might be called upon to help you up.
what would i say? would i turn away?
say to you that's the price you pay when you play with a person's heart.
or will i confess? stand up and be a woman that can forgive,
even though i will never forget what you did.
could i wish you the best and be there for you like a friend?
i don't know when, but some day we'll meet again on this long long road.

you'll always be at the back of my mind.
not a pleasant memory, but you are someone i will never forget.
you crop up in my dreams.
when i'm sad your laughter echos around my heart.
you tore my innocence apart.
i don't know where you are.
i don't know who you are with.
i wonder if a woman will ever make you cry.
i'm hoping someday you get what you deserve as you go down this long long road.

time flies by, a neutral party to all life's events.
if by chance, i ever see you again, will i be able to smile?
would i say hi? could i set the past aside and let the bad you did fade from my mind?
stand up and be a woman that can forgive, wish you the best,
pass this test! maybe someday on this long long road we'll meet again.

only fate knows if our paths will cross again. will i recognize you?
will you even remember me? was i just one more girl to meet your biological needs?
will i cry? life is full of twists and turns, you never know how you'll react to a ghost from the past.
there are so many beginnings on this long long road that have no endings.
we'll see, maybe someday, on this long long road i will find out if time really does heal all wounds!

Invisible Death

helpless and fragile with broken lungs,
no one to console,
a guardian angel asleep at the wheel,
your life so brief, it's only a footnote.
i remember little things in blurry scenes,
it was so long ago, when you had to leave.

memories play to their own tune.
yours is out of sequence, faded, and worn.
i wonder sometimes if you'd be fearless,
you never were afraid when others were.
but we are here today and you sing with the angels.
is it too high a price to pay, to live with what could have been?

i don't think we'd still be friends.
maybe a cursory connection through a facebook trend,
but i'm haunted to this day.
you were never coming out to play again.
boucing on old mattresses in meemaw's backyard.
laughing like crazy when we fell down.

i was a kid too,
unable to process death.
is that why i remain so affected by it?
i never thought i was invincible.
one too many funerals i've went too before i was ten.
life folds, bends then breaks apart at the end.
i look at myself in the mirror
and ponder how much time is left in my hour glass.

i shouldn't miss what never came to be.
is it the crazy in me that wants to get lost,
switch back to a time when i could just be
and death was invisible to me?
i think i'd be a different human being,
if i hadn't had to bury my innocence so soon.