My Lost Hope

you were a hope i never got to hold.
this morning my world came apart.
my heart has frozen solid and stopped.
this is how it feels to lose a child.
i never got to see you born.
God gave me the possibility of you,
but then God took away the reality of you.

i still have the booties and the sleeper.
i'm trying to wrap my mind around not being able to keep you.
i'm devastated and hurting.
the physical pain will fade as you bleed out of me,
but the sorrow i feel will never fade.
i'm sorry i wasn't able to stop you from leaving.

i've been reassured this isn't my fault,
but i feel as if i'm being punished by God.
i don't even know if you were a boy or a girl.
my lost hope, i love you still.
i feel literally empty without you.
i'm the only one who wanted you.
i would've cherished and adored you.
my little angel, rest in heaven now,
i will always miss you.

Hot Men

i have no idea what i am doing.
my instruction booklet is in simlish.
out of left field came an unexpected offer.
i could not process it, so i laughed.
now time has passed and i want a do over,
but the chance has passed.

waves and smiles are exchanged,
like nothing changed.
i'm amazed at the power of intentional forgetfulness.
i wonder what you would do,
if i winked and blew you a kiss?
mix it up and have some fun with you.

i know i made the right decision.
physical delights are temporary.
i'm missing the spiritual connections.
my mind runs through the possibilities,
but my history predicts a horrible end.
when i play with hot men,
i'm always the one who burns!!!