A You Free World

you're picking me apart again
my esteem isn't your concern
your love isn't something you want to give to me
losing you could be the best thing to ever happen to me
no more obnoxious curse filled rants
welcome to a new and improved you free world!

questions don't always need to be answered
the universe is full of unlimited possibilities
i need to explore other realms
time may run out on me, but i'll die if i stay where i'm at

the catalyst was your accusations
they outed my doubts into the light
unicorns aren't real and neither is your heart
i released my remaining feelings for you into the air
i already feel 200% better
God doesn't need to be bothered for moments like this
i expect you to never speak to me again

life is a bore when you remain neutral
obvioulsy, i am not taking your side
vex me if it makes you feel better
i'm excited to now be living in a you free world!

Bully

12:30 am the phone rang and the world went crazy.
i didn't say hello, i went right to what's wrong?
i've gotten this call before from dad, last time my mom had died, this time my neice is in icu!
i went from sound asleep to wide awake in one heart beat.
she's going to physically get better, but her mind is in a real bad place.

i've been depressed enough to try it.
i know exactly where she's at right now.
my heart is breaking with her pain.
i want to hold her tight and let her cry it all out.
that boy is a poison!
these are boo boo's i can't kiss away.
this precious child is being bullied to death by a boy that told her he'd love her until the day he died!
if i had my way that day would be today.

the teenage drama has gotten out of hand.
the new girlfriend travels in a pack of mean girls.
they're spreading lies, they tell her they are going to kill her.
the school did nothing, the 5 said they were innocent.
5 against 1 is not a fair fight.
my neice is a sweet and sensitive soul.
she hurts when she thinks you are mad at her.
she takes after my mom on that.
it's no way to live to put your happiness into other's hands.

it is time for her to heal.
hell is being raised at the school.
she will need to change and grow.
it's a hard way to learn to stand up for yourself.
God, help her, and help us to help her.
bring me the words to say to her.
send her the holy ghost to comfort her.
we will be here for her.
she can overcome this and be strong.
she will live through this!

Somewhere In Here

i know it's in here somewhere.
where, oh where, did i put it?
today i got good news, but with me,
there's always a but,
i feel sadder then ever.
i hate being praised, it makes me sick.
i used to love recognition.
i don't know where my self-esteem went,
but i have a a bad feeling,
i'm never gonna see it again!

i guess i could shovel out the blame.
my brothers unrelenting teasing.
the fat jokes. the ugly taunts.
the put downs and the heart aches.
my mother's constant critisism.
my father's unrelenting optimism.
me trying to be everything to everyone
and now me feeling like i'm nothing to no one.

i know it's in here somewhere.
where, oh where, did it go?
today i had a moment of uncontrollable laughter,
but those moments never last,
and now i feel empty and bloated.
i hate not be able to make my happiness stay.
i used to laugh every day.
i don't know where my hope went,
but i have a bad feeling,
i'm never gonna see it again!