Okay

My heart stops when I think of you. All the times I’ve betrayed you in my mind build up inside. I’m ready to crash into the wall and destroy the love we’ve built together. I don’t know why I do things like this.

You’re confused by me as I am. I can’t help myself. I always betray myself. The guilt burns in my soul. It sours all I touch with the stench of failure. I can’t escape myself. I’m sick of doing this to me.

I tell myself all the time to be positive. But a negative thought always comes along. I’m always sorry when I do you harm. But you’re tired of my apologies and you’re ready to move on. I don’t blame you. I never do. It’s me that’s the root of all evil.

I tell myself it’ll be ok. Someday I’ll get it right. I’m not crazy, just lazy. And if I worked on it I could be a better person to be around but it always falls to the ground.

Self-fulfilling prophecies, pre-destined before I talked or walked doomed me to be alone. I tell myself how could God be wrong. I tell myself somewhere there’s someone who’ll get me.

I tell myself everyday I’m not in pain just to get through. I tell myself a lot of things, but it never takes. I never make the cut and I’m always behind. I tell myself someday I’ll be okay. Someday it’ll all be okay.