Sunshine

i'm sunshine on a cloudy day
no one sees me shine away
the addiction is overwhelming me
the mess left behind blinds me
i dig around the old hiding places
today i shined but tomorrow i need more
or i will get left behind

i heard the right words in my head
but those are never the ones that come out my mouth
i can't stop my own train wreck
these actions are half-cocked
i run off into sunshine and drive into deep water full of sharks

i get it right one time out of 100
but all you remember is the 99 i screwed up
there's no good way here
only my flaws show the worst foot forward
i'm still here eating the fallout of my mistakes
hoping one day someone sees me shine

Silence, Do You Some Good?!

silence is more precious then gold.
leave the sound out of your mind.
focus on what you're feeling.
breathe slow and deep to relax.
can you reach a peaceful place yet?

close your eyes to block out the world.
hold yourself for comfort.
your the only one that's always there for you.
focus on every tactile brush of your hand.
come and find what sets you free.

do you need a pill to see?
are you addicted to the numbness?
let the anger flow out of you.
let the creativity take control of you.
reclaim your soul.

my dreams are full of darkness.
i ca't forget the pain.
i'm unable to focus my thoughts.
purgatory is living;
hell is ignoring you're alive.

freedom is relative;
i've built a hell hole.
my hidden self trapped.
focus on the light.
move toward the sunshine;
one step at a time.

i see.
i feel.
the numbness has begun to fade,
but here comes the pain!

Okay or Water Drenched Cells

as the years begin to accelerate beyond any speed yet accomplished by mankind,
i feel the failures have only just begun.
my cynical eyes see faults in everyone and on everything.
i've gone from oblivious to hyper-observant.
trust is no longer a welcomed currency,
like the tumbling US dollar,
it's not something i want make deals with.

bow your head to pray.
be thankful God has abandoned us.
He truly is wise.
the plan's he had have been destroyed by his own creations.
so many questions are fueled by the insane passions of faith.
i think the scales are tilting toward are own destruction.

love with your entire being.
use every water drenched cell wrapped in billions of packages to conquer your demons.
we come in every shape, color and size.
i'm unable to fathom why we aren't as unique as we like to think we are.
connect me to my sedative and pour my whisky neat.
i don't want to feel anything else tonight.
i don't want to debate if you are wrong or right.

close, closer, closest.
move silently beyond your closed state of mind.
shut the door to opportunity.
quit the progress and stow the hope in the overhead compartment.
it's a bumpy ride, but we love to fly high without leaving the ground.
i visit my friendly neighborhood pharmacist to make it okay.
it'll be okay.
i'm tired of trying to be important or special.
i'm going for okay with only a few addictions.
i'm reaching out to just be okay.
okay?
okay!
okay.

Chemistry

i don't need my glasses on to see the warning attached to wanting you.
i prance around enchanted by your smile.
i push out my chest and curl my hair.
i want you to call me beautiful.
these games of entrapment we play where nobody wins.
you whisper all the things you want to do to me, but we never get that far.

our breaths mix as we stare at one another.
there's always some interruption, but we keep trying to steal one more minute together.
baby, you're my new drug, cuz i'm addicted to you.
my stomach tightens, my hips feel heavy, my head is spinning,
and every thought is focused on your heartbeating under my hand.
the seconds never last long enough.
i can't wait to be pulled into your arms again.

this antcipation is intoxicating.
i'm your fool.
you have me right where you want me.
you hold all my cards.
i've tried to forget above how your touch makes me feel,
but our chemistry is explosive.
i can't get over your affect on my flesh.

i get goosebumps every time i see you.
you're so close, but i can't reach out to touch you.
you are like the forbidden apple on a tree i can't even reach.
our words say so little, but when we get physical it's so loud it deafens me.

these brief encounters leave me unsatisfied.
i don't know how much more of your teasing i can take.
you are dangerous and i'm feeling reckless.
you're toying with me like a cat toys with a mouse.
it's not enough to keep me happy.
i need you to immerse yourself into me.
we don't know each other's details, but the way we make each other feel can't be wrong.
you feel so good to me.

we have a magnetic attraction to each other.
for 2 years we were unaware,
now we see and feel its weight bearing down on us.
we can't ignore it.
you have so much more then me to lose.
the timing is bad i know, but pandora's box has been opened.
you can't pour liquid fire back into a shattered jar.
we need to fight fire with fire.
we need to focus on what matters.
explore this chemistry to the fullest until we exhaust each other!