Poppies

where do the poppies go?
they go in your arm.
they go into your blood.
they seep into your soul.
that's where the poppies go.

Favorite Chocolate Bar

i'm inhaling the leftover scent of your cologne.
i try to capture your intense presence in a jar.
your hazel eyes inspired me to fall.
i want to take this feeling and hang it up like a poster on my wall.
you could be my idol and i could be your doll,
but i'm not grammy material.
and the music we made ended on the wrong note.
now your voice is lost to me!

i want to recycle my memories into toys for poor kids
or maybe turn myself into your favorite chocolate bar,
then you would love me as much as pooh bear loves his honey.
please change your cooling affections!
it's sunday maybe by thursday you'll want me again.
i'm nowhere without your hands dancing with desire over my skin.
i feel like i've fallen into an empty pit of despair;
instead of you keeping me warm i wear thermal underwear.

take a laser and carve you out of my brain.
be thorough, i want to forget every little thing.
why couldn't you like me the most?
if you were a drug i'd be your abuser.
the words growled under your breath fester like open wounds upon my flesh.
open up my chest and remove my heart;
it's not important to me if you aren't here for me to love!

Verb

i lay in bed mesmerized by the ceiling again.
i close my eyes and i see light and dark.
the shadows chase me when i try to sleep.
i feel my face with my fingertips.
i press against the bone underneath my flesh.
i feel caged in and i want to dig my nails into my skin
and tear away what brings me pain.

the path is getting narrow.
the darkness is getting stronger.
i'm turning into a being of pure feeling.
my senses are reeling.
i don't know if it's the drugs leaving or the real me being.

this life of people, lies, and sex smells like shit.
i want to break my own neck.
when the sun hides, when the clouds conceal; that's when my mind comes alive.
i spin through a billion thoughts.
i'm devoured nerve by nerve.
the air is pushing down and in on me.
all i suffer is never enough.

sacrifice me at your will.
i'm breaking down.
i can't stay wrapped up in a bubble.
i think too damn much.
i am power; raw, sensual, sexual fire.
all the reality blurs as my world collapses with one word, verb!

Chemistry

i don't need my glasses on to see the warning attached to wanting you.
i prance around enchanted by your smile.
i push out my chest and curl my hair.
i want you to call me beautiful.
these games of entrapment we play where nobody wins.
you whisper all the things you want to do to me, but we never get that far.

our breaths mix as we stare at one another.
there's always some interruption, but we keep trying to steal one more minute together.
baby, you're my new drug, cuz i'm addicted to you.
my stomach tightens, my hips feel heavy, my head is spinning,
and every thought is focused on your heartbeating under my hand.
the seconds never last long enough.
i can't wait to be pulled into your arms again.

this antcipation is intoxicating.
i'm your fool.
you have me right where you want me.
you hold all my cards.
i've tried to forget above how your touch makes me feel,
but our chemistry is explosive.
i can't get over your affect on my flesh.

i get goosebumps every time i see you.
you're so close, but i can't reach out to touch you.
you are like the forbidden apple on a tree i can't even reach.
our words say so little, but when we get physical it's so loud it deafens me.

these brief encounters leave me unsatisfied.
i don't know how much more of your teasing i can take.
you are dangerous and i'm feeling reckless.
you're toying with me like a cat toys with a mouse.
it's not enough to keep me happy.
i need you to immerse yourself into me.
we don't know each other's details, but the way we make each other feel can't be wrong.
you feel so good to me.

we have a magnetic attraction to each other.
for 2 years we were unaware,
now we see and feel its weight bearing down on us.
we can't ignore it.
you have so much more then me to lose.
the timing is bad i know, but pandora's box has been opened.
you can't pour liquid fire back into a shattered jar.
we need to fight fire with fire.
we need to focus on what matters.
explore this chemistry to the fullest until we exhaust each other!

Drug of Choice

The stillness in the air.
The cold air funneling through my lungs.
The feelings hanging in limbo.
Altogether, it makes me want to disappear.

I heat up a can of soup.
I look around my apartment.
I miss your presence.
Life didn't seem empty until after you were here.

I take my day in small doses.
I want to drive fast, lie in bed and call you.
My whole being quivers with anticipation.
The sound of your voice has become my drug of choice.

The gray ominous sky.
The smell of moisture in the air.
The feeling of something unrealized.
Altogether, I just want to jump to the end.

I check my messages.
There is nothing from you.
I wish you missed me, like I miss you.
I didn't know I wasn't living until after I lived with you.

I can't say no to you.
I'm different with you.
My brain switches gears for you.
Your opinions have become my drug of choice.

The mellowness of a broken hearted song.
The dying leaves falling to the ground.
The feeling of the unknown.
Altogether, I wish I knew where this is going.

I flutter around doing busy work.
Counting down the minutes to you.
Your face dances continuously on my mind.
The colors have been clearer since I saw you.

I'm scared you will go away.
My fear keeps me silent.
I worry I'm not good enough for you.
You're approval has become my drug of choice.

The dullness of the office fluroscent lights.
The quiet of a slow work day.
The feeling that all of it doesn't matter.
Altogether, I'd rather be with you.

I wait for your obligations to free you.
I think about you incessantly.
I am detached from my day, because you are my nights.
And I can't recall before you were in my life.

I gather up your words to save for a bad day.
These precious moments are making me want more.
I have gone past the point of no return.
Your love is now my drug of choice.

When I was 14

When I was 14 they locked my mother away in a hospital's padded room.
Where they wouldn't let her come home.
I would visit her with my Dad totally embarrassed,
a little but sad and a little bit mad.
I can't recall how long she stayed.
It seemed like forever but it could've been a couple of days.

I'd sit in the long lonely hallway and think why i'd been so bad
that they too her away. I'm sorry but shd had to stay. She went crazy.
Everybody goes crazy. Everybody loses touch with reality. She saw ducks
in tin hats and pirates dropping down out of the ceiling.
Who hasn't when you take way too much medicine?
We all lose our minds. I'm sure someday I'm gonna lose mine.

When I was 10 she got sick and the doctors prescribed cure alls
that ended up killing her 13 years later.
My whole life changed the day she was taken away to God.
I knew then she could never come back to me.
I know hospitals well, their smell, antiseptic death.
I was in so many, so often, for too many years in a row.
The scars run deep as my paranoia that I'm on the same road.
And it's just a matter of time before they take me away too.

Time is playing tricks on me. As I get older I remember the silliest
things. How her eyes were like glass. How she looked in her hospital gown.
Sometimes I dream it all over like the day hasn't passed. And I'm back
in that moment, sitting in that long lonely hallway and that crazy old
man is trying to escape again. The girl who fried her brain on PCP calls me
Mary. And Mom has to stay. She has to stay until the medicine doesn't make
her crazy anymore. Yes, I worry one day it'll be my daughter sitting in that
long lonely hallway waiting for me but I have to stay.