Unexpected Praise

touch me when i don't want you to.
push past all the bullshit i say to you.
i've got chocolate on my forehead
and a broken heart in the mail to you.
i'm too young to be so done with living,
but when you focused on me i wanted to live forever.

a number dances on my mind,
48, 48, 48 is when she died.
i don't know how much longer i've got,
so wasting this time loving you really sucks.
i worry about dying every day.
my demons are winning in every way.

you told me my writing blew you away.
i latch onto this unexpected praise.
intentions and desires clash and clog my vision.
i have lost all my perceptions.
you need to tell me what you really think when you think about me.

i seek solace in a forgiving man,
but he's never here when i need him the most.
i'm beginning to retreat back into my head.
this man isn't really my friend.
i ask for a simple hug and i get a shrug.

i don't want you to touch me anymore.
my shut down has commenced.
i'm giving you a big send off.
my heart is being shipped out
and i don't want it to ever come back.

So Damn Cool!

i'm unable to see where we went wrong.
we've crossed over the road we should be on.
i won't hesitate to tell you what i think.
i know you think it's too late.
i can forgive if you can forget.
i want to glue all these pieces of us back together again.

listen to my praryers.
all i've had for company since you left,
is the Father, His son and the Holy Ghost.
And you only believe in one of those.
I'm no one, but i want to be someone.
when we were at our best no one could tear us down.

i confess i'm a mess.
my ability to handle this is gone.
by my words and hurtful actions i've left myself depressed.
i feel vunerable and confused, but you seem so damn cool!
like none of this bullshit ever effects you.

tell me what you want to hear,
please, make it very clear.
i know you're never coming back.
i'll just have to adapt.
it wouldn't bother me so much if you could act like you cared.
i guess i do see where we went wrong.