Unexpected Praise

touch me when i don't want you to.
push past all the bullshit i say to you.
i've got chocolate on my forehead
and a broken heart in the mail to you.
i'm too young to be so done with living,
but when you focused on me i wanted to live forever.

a number dances on my mind,
48, 48, 48 is when she died.
i don't know how much longer i've got,
so wasting this time loving you really sucks.
i worry about dying every day.
my demons are winning in every way.

you told me my writing blew you away.
i latch onto this unexpected praise.
intentions and desires clash and clog my vision.
i have lost all my perceptions.
you need to tell me what you really think when you think about me.

i seek solace in a forgiving man,
but he's never here when i need him the most.
i'm beginning to retreat back into my head.
this man isn't really my friend.
i ask for a simple hug and i get a shrug.

i don't want you to touch me anymore.
my shut down has commenced.
i'm giving you a big send off.
my heart is being shipped out
and i don't want it to ever come back.

No More Hugs

akward glances meet nonchalant shrugs, it means no more hugs.
my thoughts linger on the marlboro taste of your kisses.
if i could paint the perfect picture of us i'd paint you nuzzling my breasts.
destitute and desperate, i bet the rest of my love on you.
life keeps showing me there's no such thing as a sure bet,
but my heart refused to believe and we fell for your charms still.

i see the trajectory of your wants like a bullet from a gun.
you ripped through me and continued on with your fun.
there never was any talk of love, just chemical infused suggestions.
if pain feels this good then hurt me some more.
i'm a glutton for you punishments and adore being your whore.

pluck away on my heartstrings, i can't feel their pull anymore.
i'd slash your big hoss tires i could see your fire once more.
the only way i vibrate is when you shake me to my core.
all of this has become an anti-thesis of a bore.

the myopic lullabye of my obsession plays on in my head.
i hum along to your memory as i masterbate myself to sleep.
my flesh and blood has trapped our sin between my ears.
my pride never existed when you were by my side,
but i'd die a thousand times just to taste your cum one more time.

epic love stories like romeo and juliet can't be wrong.
love is the truest when everyone else thinks it doesn't belong.
the poison is the lust that makes the rest of our lives lose its luster.
we shift into overdrive to capture the thrill of life.
only when you and i come together do we get back into the vibe.
my weakness is your touch, i need you to glow!

What the Hell?

hey, hey, hey, all i wanted was a sunny day
but you let the rain come pouring out of your mouth.
i didn't need a disertation on all the flaws our love's got.
i didn't ask for an invitation to a break-up party.

your bringing me down.
your drowning me out.
what the hell is this all about?
one day your hugs and kisses
saying love ya's and miss ya's
now it's you gotta have your space
get out of my place
back away from my face
what the hell is this all about?

hey, hey, hey, all i wanted was to play
but you stomped around breaking all the toys.
i didn't want a presentation of how bad i am for you.
i didn't request your meditations on life with me gone.

your giving me a frown
treating me like a clown
what the hell is this all about?
one day your hugs and kisses
saying love ya's and miss ya's
now your saying goodbye
making me cry
and telling whale sized lies
what the hell is this all about???