Sickness and I

sickness and i are the oldest of friends.
i remember cold novembers' wracked with coughs and sweating from a fever's heat.
you'd think i'd be used to the familiar touch of disease but i forget.
the older i get the harder it gets to get over its affects.

bronchitis, sinus, flu, colds, allergies, and pneumonia revolve and evolve through me,
into me, around me, until i begin to wonder if death's the only hope i have left.
i try new doctors, new pills, new cure alls, but all i find is the same misery that leaves me dead inside.

the error is in my dna. my bad code has made me this way.
why bother to try when i'm doomed.
i dance around the truth holding one ailment close at a time.
miracles and prayers aren't here to be found, if Jesus saves he doesn't save me.

God used to speak to me when i was young.
i'd lay on a couch in the dark saying my childish prayers and crossing my heart.
my mother tucked me in too tight to move.
all the doctors told her i'd outgrow it all one day,
but after 40 years i grow doubtful that day will every come.

every time i leave the house new germs hitch a ride home with me.
sickness never leaves me alone.
i can count on it to visit when it pleases.
i'm well enough to forget how much it hurt, so it reminds me again how it rules me.
i should burn myself and all i own, but i'm sure the sickness would return.

yes, sickness and i are the oldest of friends!

Cheesy Rhyme

you make me ache. you make me quake.
this fire you've sparked burns out the dark.
i won't hesitate to be the one thing you celebrate.
my entire heart's at stake, please take!

lonely and bored you found me and made me your whore.
i hunger for your touch. i love you too much.
i adore your ambition. i am ready to receive your ammunition.
you have a lock on my heart, you hold the key to me!

bring it to me. have me choke it down!
hold on to me, even while you make me drown!
this fever grips me inside out! make me yearn!
i don't want you to ever stop! make me burn!

you have my heart in your hands. do you understand?
this ground i'm on is moving fast. do you think we'll last?
life didn't prepare me for you. will you teach me the drill?
i'm sinking into your quicksand. will you offer me your hand?

i meditate to the tune of your heart beat. i swoon when you sweep me off my feet.
there's no where else for me to fall. i have to have you all!
please cum in me tonight! i beg you to give me your baby to make it alright!
the thought of you inside me makes me hunger for you all night!

deep inside of my soul you awoke my dead dreams.
i had lost all my hopes until i stared into your hazel eyes for the first time.
now i pace with anticipation of your every kiss.
i can't express how much i miss you when you're gone.

i'm falling harder and faster then ever before.
you're the one i'm betting it all on.
i won't quit until every last bit of you is mine.
our hearts are becoming synchronized!

i read every text a million times. i want you all the time.
i can't let this go. i can't let you be.
i hang on every word you speak. you make me weak.
this will never be enough. i adore you way to much.

i spin around like i'm dancing on a cloud.
you've become my drug. i crave you insatiably.
you're my lover extraordinary under the covers.
i suck you dry to get my fix! we are the perfect mix!

i talk about you all day! my friends wish you'd go away.
i want to ride you like there's no tomorrow.
i want to make us both scream and holler.
whatever the price i will pay it to get you to stay!

this feeling elevates me to crown you my king.
i worship every move you make.
i long for you to touch me and make me shake.
there's nothing i'd rather do then to fuck you!

you've overtaken my senses. you leave me defenseless.
i'm blinded by your light. only you make wrong seem right.
i think about you day and night.
no cheesy rhyme can capture what we have with each other.

i still try to document all these emotions running over me.
my static vision focuses only on your cares.
i want to fly away with you somewhere near.
where time won't pass and we can retire into each other at last!

Migraine

i am locked into a battle with my own head.
the pain hides beneath my skull.
it pounds with no mercy.
my eyes close to shut out the light.
i pray for God to help me with this fight.

i wake up hot and sweaty.
the scent of illness lingers on my flesh.
my fever burns me from the inside out.
i worry about the day.
how am i to function this way?

i take a cold shower to lower my body heat.
i think i see steam coming off of my body.
i take the recommended medications.
i hope they are able to kill the monster inside my brain.
my skin is hot to the touch.
i curl up on my couch and cry.

i fall into a deep drug induced sleep.
my dreams are hazy, disturbed and brief.
i awake to the sound of a horn.
the dog licks the salt from the tracks of my tears.
i slept 2 hours, but the migraine still rages.
the migraine is winning this war.

it takes all the strength i have to get up.
i stumble to the kitchen sink to drink some water.
the day's are longer when the pain is stronger.
i am overwhelmed from this battle.

i manage to get up the stairs
and collapse into my bed.
i lie there staring up at the ceiling,
while the migraine strangles my thoughts.

i close my eyes and try to focus.
i utter one sentence,
God please help me!
finally, i drift off into the solace of sleep.

it's 2 am now.
i have awoken feeling better.
i take another cold shower.
the fever is gone,
but the migraine desperately hangs on.

the pain is now dull.
it is a welcomed change.
i thank God for the relief.
i can see the light at the end of this excruciating tunnel.

i smile a little bit.
my migraines and i have a long history.
it's not my friend, but a bitter enemy.
one day i had hoped they'd disappear,
but now i know the migraines will come and go as they please.

i will enjoy the peace in between these battles.