A Little Rumor

a little rumor about you and me is going around
i swear i only said three words, he's my type.
the buzz has begun, where do these things come from?
you've got my curiousity in overdrive.
i fear the talk will drive you away,
but it's not my fault!

my words have been taken out of context.
i said i think you're cute,
but i never said anything that would hurt.
you're backing up and changing course.
my emotions can't run their course.
you are under the influence of other people's opinions.

a little rumor has gotten it all wrong.
i want you badly but you don't know what to do.
you're hovering over me like a lone rain cloud.
my desires are getting the best of me.
i'll make a promise to you to never speak of you again.
will that settle your skittish nerves?
i'm not the one that is cheating on someone.
tell me please, what the hell do you want from me?

Inequity

i carry a life full of inequity upon my shoulders.
i feel persecuted and alone in my troubles.
there are rumors amongst those i know.
the lies spread and grow beyond who i am.
the blatant manipulations of a few take their dark toll upon my precious soul.

every step i take i try to break free from the fear mongers whispering to me.
i am haunted by the time i lost locked up inside too afraid to move.
i hurt myself to know i still feel.
the blame rests with me for these sins.

one day death will seek me out.
every atom i am will turn to ash.
if i say a prayer for Jesus to be my savior,
will all my twisted thoughts disappear?
Do all my wounds heal?
i am covered in self-inflicted scars.
i bathe five times a day trying to wash away the stench of my fears.

i can't look myself in the eye in the mirror.
if God hears every one of my thoughts, does he cry like i do?
my morals are compromised.
my goodness rots on the vine;
never harvested and never applied.

i am told of a man in the bible named Job.
he suffered more then any human being has ever suffered.
his faith never waivered.
he was strong in his love of God.
i want to be more like Job, but i am weak.
i long for a stonger hand to hold mine to help me choose what's right.

i've given away all the good pieces of me.
i carry my mistakes like a cross upon my shoulders.
i have reaped what i have sown.
this life of fear is all i've ever known,
but i hope one day i will be free of all these burdens crushing me.