Today (The Shifting Perspective)

today i can see my life for years behind and forward.
how i've been wrong and how i've been right.
the choice i've made good and bad.
the bridges i burnt down.
clarity swallows me and i drown into haunted memories.

tomorrow is coming around.
i want to change course but i'm clueless.
i've been lonely so long i forget how to belong.
take a turn on the what could have been wheel.
try to remember what is like to love.
how to feel the warmth of a someones touch.
i wish i could cleanse my soul with tears but they don't come anymore.

i've dried up into a wrinkled, dark spotted flesh.
i need to know if i ever cross your mind
or am i thrown away like a piece of junk mail.
these wandering thoughts echo in my empty heart.
i found a pill that destroys my pain,
but there aren't enough to eliminate everything.

today doesn't mark any anniversary.
there's nothing special about my misery.
all these years i've tried to be the good girl.
now i see i never was good.
the mask never took hold of me.
i'm so sorry, i don't know how to make this right.

tomorrow is always on its way.
i can't stop it nor do i want it.
here and now is the best second.
i have it all in my head.
i'm afraid i'll forget.
i have this chance to take care of you instead of me.
i've run out of lies on this rope i've hung myself out to dry.

me and my fears have had an epic love affair.
now i need to see what life is like when you let go.
i need to know if time can truly heal
or will your face continue to taunt me forever.
all my dreams have collapsed into me.
everyone stares as i supernova.
everybody loves to watch when it's not their heart breaking into dust!

Stalled

stalled out in the fast lane
no where to go
no escape
i watch the crash happen
i see it all unfold
i can't stop it
the pain
the blood
the burning
capture every tear
store every smell
watch the aftermath
see everyone collapse
find the hope hiding behind the fear
lives forever altered
five minutes turns into an eternity
everyone disappears
dispersed to clear the road
until the next collision
wrap up the bloody clothes
put up a white cross on the side of the road
find a new love
wait for it to end
hold my breath
pray this one doesn't hurt
thank him for the lesson
leave your heart in the slow lane
look both ways
cross at your own risk
broken hearts stop traffic
stalled out in the fast lane

God Loves You

i'm too scared to admit i love you.
this time with you has been like living in a dream.
every moment has been one to remember.
the fear of giving my heart to you has nothing to do with you.
i've got a road of broken promises behind me.
you've been the picture of patience.
you wait for my timid heart to emerge.
God loves you and so do I.

we talk about everything and nothing.
your smile lights up my world.
before you i was gray
now everyday is in vibrant color.
i feel the ice cracking.
i hear my laughter and i no longer feel hollow.

i'm too afraid to say i love you.
you looked me right in the eyes,
your blue ones full of sincerity,
as you whispered i love you
and you kissed me so gently i fell apart.
you held me as i cried and all of my past was spilling out onto your shirt.
why couldn't i speak the truth?
God loves you and so do I.

you and i are the dynamic duo.
i've become a part of your life and you are all of mine.
all we do is find ways to be together.
this is real and i feel it too.
i don't see a boy but the man i love.
it has me confused and i know you can't wait forever.

i've let my insecurities stop me from loving you.
letting go of the hurt is so hard to do.
your embrace welcomes and warms me.
today you told me you couldn't do it anymore.
i'm frantic; in a total panic; i'm losing you.
my breathing has become shallow, i'm sweating all over.
tell him, tell him, tell him
God loves you and baby so do i!!!

i love you, i love you, i love you.
I'm hopelessly, head over heels, in love with you.
please hear me and come back to me.