Stalled

stalled out in the fast lane
no where to go
no escape
i watch the crash happen
i see it all unfold
i can't stop it
the pain
the blood
the burning
capture every tear
store every smell
watch the aftermath
see everyone collapse
find the hope hiding behind the fear
lives forever altered
five minutes turns into an eternity
everyone disappears
dispersed to clear the road
until the next collision
wrap up the bloody clothes
put up a white cross on the side of the road
find a new love
wait for it to end
hold my breath
pray this one doesn't hurt
thank him for the lesson
leave your heart in the slow lane
look both ways
cross at your own risk
broken hearts stop traffic
stalled out in the fast lane

Poppies

where do the poppies go?
they go in your arm.
they go into your blood.
they seep into your soul.
that's where the poppies go.

Console Myself

cramps, blood, pain, misery; all has befallen me.
failure, disappointment, fear, doubt; all are present here with me.
there's been a total eclipse of my soul.
crashing waves of angry thoughts beat me down.
thrashing words whip me from out of your mouth.
my savior flies south while i walk north.
there's only an echo to keep me company now!

a solemn mood has settled over me.
my emotions hesitate to be.
every color bleeds.
notice the little wrinkles on my forehead.
i'm rotting away.
my flesh dries out.
every breath is death.

despair, loneliness, sadness, madness; all perch upon my shoulders.
aches, spasms, depression, exhaustion; all kick me when i'm down.
there's a hostile take over going on in my heart.
hurling accusations hit me hard.
whirling clouds of confusion take my breath away.
my hopes took the last bus out of town.
there's only me to console myself now!

My Exorcism

cast out the demons with holy water
leave the blood dripping from my eyes
bury me alive
catch my killer
i saw her in the reflection of the butcher knife
she looked just like me except for her eyes
her eyes were wild and crazy
she's bitter and hurt
she stabbed me almost 100 times right through my heart
until she collapsed from exhaustion

life was supposed to be a party full of presents, cake, and laughter
what i got never crossed my mind, but here it is
my misery colors my eyes midnight blue
i'll sneak out to the back so y'all can get on with my exorcism

throw me to the sharks one piece at a time
the blood smells like burnt flesh
as it dries on my hands i begin to understand
i'll never be safe from myself
one day i'll successfully kill me
only i could cut right through my own heart with one sure stroke
i'm angry and hurt
i want to pull apart my two sides
let the good happy side of me free
and bury the depressed angry me alive so i can hear her screams

life was supposed to be a party
but no on invited me
so i drink alone everyday
i'm not sleeping.
the blood shot eyes, the pill bottles everywhere,
i'm out back listening to y'all's happy chatter
wondering how long this attempted exorcism will last

God has Me on Mute

The TV ain't gonna save me and God has me on mute!
This road I've been driving on washed out right in front of me.
I can't see where to go. I have no GPS to know the way.
This world has me confused, but that's not hard to do.

I want a little piece of peace inside my mind.
I want a little bite of love inside my heart.
I want a little bit of happiness inside my soul.
What's it to want a little up when all I feel is down?

Bring me peace.
Bring me love.
Bring me happiness.
Bring me a reason to stay.

The dog really isn't God and I can't buy a cure when my money is all gone.
I tried to fly but I never left the ground.
When I ran I tripped. I drowned on my own blood.
I've gotten confused, but that's not hard to do.

Cut Myself and Bleed

Why don't you bring me flowers?
I beg and plead.
I'm willing to cut myself and bleed,
just to see an emotion cross your face.

Good love is hard to find.
It's been hard to find someone to
Understand my twisted mind.
The only one I tried to love forever
Can't wait to leave.
All I wanted was some flowers.

I'm a mess.
I'm crazy.
I'm hard to get.
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I get it.
We've been through all this before.
You never care when you're getting some.
It's all the other minutes in the day you can't handle me.

I sense your shut down.
Your walls are strong.
I'm so tired of trying to climb over them.
I want to tear you down,
Make you feel unworthy like you do to me..

I want you to want flowers.
I want you to beg and plead.
I want you to be willing to cut and bleed,
just to get me to show you an emotion.
I want you to love me.

Loose Ends

there's alot of loose ends floating around. there's hurt feelings cascading down. there's the end of something beautiful coming. i taste the blood on your tongue. i kiss you for a bittersweet goodbye. i pull away and with me i take the knife from your heart.

i'm so sorry baby. i hate who i am when i'm with you. i didn't mean to do this so badly. i've never been able to leave a room without a huff. but it's not enough. you want reasons or at least a creative excuse. i've got neither.

this was tragically slow.i didn't enojy it baby. i know you think i did. i'm sorry baby. there was a better way. i just couldn't take the time. i was urgently dying inside to let you go. it broke you apart. you swear you'll never be whole again. take it from me it's not that bad.

i'm so sorry baby. i can't stay. i hear the anger in your voice. i see the disappointment in your eyes. you built those hopes and dreams on my back. i should've told you i'm weak.

baby, i know my flaws. they were there all along. you were blinded by love. i must've hurt you when i ripped that blindfold off. i'm so sorry baby. there's no escaping it. it's time to move on. you can't keep me in your cage of love forever. it's not fun but it's got to be done. i'm so sorry baby, but i'm through with you.