God Loves You

i'm too scared to admit i love you.
this time with you has been like living in a dream.
every moment has been one to remember.
the fear of giving my heart to you has nothing to do with you.
i've got a road of broken promises behind me.
you've been the picture of patience.
you wait for my timid heart to emerge.
God loves you and so do I.

we talk about everything and nothing.
your smile lights up my world.
before you i was gray
now everyday is in vibrant color.
i feel the ice cracking.
i hear my laughter and i no longer feel hollow.

i'm too afraid to say i love you.
you looked me right in the eyes,
your blue ones full of sincerity,
as you whispered i love you
and you kissed me so gently i fell apart.
you held me as i cried and all of my past was spilling out onto your shirt.
why couldn't i speak the truth?
God loves you and so do I.

you and i are the dynamic duo.
i've become a part of your life and you are all of mine.
all we do is find ways to be together.
this is real and i feel it too.
i don't see a boy but the man i love.
it has me confused and i know you can't wait forever.

i've let my insecurities stop me from loving you.
letting go of the hurt is so hard to do.
your embrace welcomes and warms me.
today you told me you couldn't do it anymore.
i'm frantic; in a total panic; i'm losing you.
my breathing has become shallow, i'm sweating all over.
tell him, tell him, tell him
God loves you and baby so do i!!!

i love you, i love you, i love you.
I'm hopelessly, head over heels, in love with you.
please hear me and come back to me.

Over This

i'm over this. the falling asleep with the cell phone praying you'll call.
jumping at every beep thinking you've reached out to me.
i'm over this. the waiting for you to keep your word.
the anxiousness tied to not knowing how you feel.
i'm over this. the way you do just enough to string me along.
your nonchalant attitude towards our love.

you told me you loved me.
you said you wanted to make a baby with me.
you sold me every shining piece of you and when i bought into you;
you switched yourself out with a cold distant son of a bitch whose never here!

i'm over this. begging for a minute of your attention.
being frustrated and unsatisfied every time you leave me.
i'm over this. my needs being laughed at by you.
my emotions being ignored.
i'm over this. you acting like i'm nothing to you.
everyone and everything being more important then me to you.

you said we'd be together forever.
you told me i'd be in your world.
you painted a perfect picture of a happy family and when i went to hang it on the wall;
the picture fell apart, crashed to the ground into a 1,000 pieces.

i'm over this. not knowing what you want or need from me.
hoping you show up when you say you will.
i'm over this. your vague excuses and justifications for your behavior.
your worn out speeches on patience.
i'm over this. because i deserve so much more!
because my heart is NOT your revolving door!

Hannah Nicole

i'm feeling neglected but it's because i miss you.
my patience is wearing thin waiting for our Hannah Nicole.
i see us clearly holding her in the near future.
a little pink bundle of joy with my blonde hair and your hazel eyes.

i'm feeling lost but it's because you aren't here.
my heart is on pause until you are near.
i know this is an adjustment i need to make
and when our Hannah Nicole gets here it'll be okay!

i'm feeling tired and worn out because your energy is gone.
my body needs your love to stay strong.
i know in my heart we belong.
we will be rewarded for our time apart when we see our Hannah Nicole at last.

i'm feeling hope spring up inside of me because you love me.
my soul is yours because i love you.
this love is our bond.
our Hannah Nicole will show the world we aren't wrong!

More Than We Deserve

i want to ease your pain.
i want to carry your sorrows away.
your happiness matters to me.
i don't want to be a burden to you.
i don't want to be another chore.
i know i worry too much.
this love is moving faster then the speed of light.
i want this to be the last love i have.

i tend to forget to remember it's only been a little while.
my desire to please you sustains me.
when you don't respond quickly i get tied up in a knot,
but you unravel me easily, with a word or touch!

you've become my whole world, but i'm not yours.
we aren't balanced against each other's hearts.
it hurts me to still be separated from all of you.
and to know i can't yet share every part of you.
my patience is being tested and i want to pass!

i feel like i pressure you too much sometimes.
i hold my breath, afraid to let go to this emotion.
i want to give you all of me, but you can't handle that yet.
i don't want to screw this one up.
i love you too much!

today i found out you're allergic to cats!
how did i not know that!
what else don't i know about you?
time is the cruelest tease.
it promises forever with you but moves so slowly;
i grow anxious.

my own mind stacks the deck against me.
i won't let my insecurities doom us.
you are the sun and i revolve around you.
my heart is on board but my doubts are working hard not to be ignored.
i work myself up into a fear frenzy for no reason, but your voice calms me.

you settle my nerves.
i know one day soon we won't be apart anymore.
our worlds are destined to merge!
our love will grow stronger because we both love each other more then we deserve.

Waiting to Inhale

i'm out of pop and patience waiting on you.
my heart is empty as Jesus' tomb.
you keep leading me into the fire,
but i hit a dead end when you're gone.

i'm sitting here holding a tissue and a pen.
waiting to inhale your exhale once again.
i got a song creeping into my head
cuz you left my heart bleeding again!

there's anticipation and then there's playing games.
i'm at a loss at which one this is.
do you even know what you do to me?
i keep waiting to inhale your exhale once again.

it's been one week and three days without your breath against my flesh.
i hunger and i ache to feel your skin.
the taste of you does me in.
you say you're a hurtin' too,
but you aren't here, so am i the fool?

i'm thinking about the last time you came.
my body was cooling while my heart caught fire.
you burned me down from the inside out.
can i trust you with my war torn heart?

there's joy then there's bait and switch.
i'm confused everyday on which this will be.
do you care that you tie me in a knot?
i keep waiting to inhale your exhale once again.
i feel like i'll be waiting until i die!

Beautiful November Day

it's a beautiful november day.
the world is spinning and people are living.
all around me there is life thriving.
i sit back.
i try to unwind and relax.
i want to ease these angry thoughts out of my mind.
i close me eyes and breathe deep and slow.
my search for calm begins to work.

my headache isn't pounding as hard now.
a little snowflake of hope is drifting around my soul.
it's getting colder outside but i am feel some warmth in my heart.
a precious moment of serenity has arrived.
i welcome the break.
i needed it.
disappointment let me be.

i've locked the heartache in a drawer labeled mistakes.
i've put my love on the highest shelf.
it's best to keep it there for now.
it's too soon to be handing out what hurts too much when things don't work out.
my sleep is all messed up.
my dreams are confusing to me.
the night brings my depression down hard on me.
i want the sun to never set.

my mind longs for a new man to obsess upon.
it's an addiction that's too easy to fuel.
i want real love.
someone i can touch.
not just a fantasy that disappears with the dawn.
i've never captured true love.
to be honest the concept baffles me.
how two people can meet and determine this the person for me to love.
i've always let desire and chemistry guide the way to who i wanted.
maybe that's why after a couple of months i get bored.

next time no sex until it's been a couple of months.
i have to stop rushing around like someone on meth.
i need to uncover the patience that has to be in me somewhere.
i can dream of all the happy endings i want,
but i'll be lonely forever if i can't make love last.

yes, it is a beautiful november day.
there's still enough time and a little bit of hope in me
that there's someone in this world for me to love.

Ohio Weather

my mood can change faster then Ohio weather.
i know i frustrate you and your patience is almost out,
but i beg you to hear me out.

i've never fallen this fast or this deep.
you've got me swinging on a pendulum between love and fear.
you are perfect for me.
these changes i'm making is so that i'm perfect for you.

the two of us together can be an unbreakable combination.
i want our love to lift us up above our doubts.
you bring out a side to me i had forgotten.
my head spins just thinking of you.

jump into me and i promise to fall into you.
we have to break all the rules.
this kind of heat may burn us, but we won't ever regret it.
take me hard and fast.
touch me everywhere, and i'll lick every inch of you.

tomorrow we will walk past each other like right now didn't matter.
i'll try not to smirk, and you'll try not to look.
i notice you don't like it when i ignore you.
you know how much i adore you.

you say you need me desparately.
your affections change faster then the Ohio weather sometimes
this chemical reaction is going to blow us both to hell and back,
but baby, i can't stop!
i need you desparately too!

we can worry about the consequences tomorrow.
it's sunny and clear right now,
so strip me down and make me yours.
it might be storming 10 minutes from now, but we can ride it out.
we never know after we hook up what the fall out will be.,
but give it 5 minutes, because like Ohio weather it could change!

The Calm of Dying

i have to uncover my own voice.
i found my intentions, but i'm scared to tell you.
fear nails my mouth shut.
i'm not able to do this by myself,
but if you aren't in on this, it makes trying pointless.

september is a peaceful month,
full of the calm of dying.
nature gives up the ghost
and the leaves give one last show.
then they all fall down, dead, onto the ground.

i wish i had death's patience.
death never rushes, but waits calmly.
it knows we all have to die some day,
but i need to focus on living,
while i'm able to do what needs to be done.

i have to take my newly discovered ambitions
all the way to the end this time.
there's something i've wanted for a long time.
i never thought i deserved to have anymore.
now i'm sure my job isn't done.
i'm scared but excited too.

i'm giving myself a deadline.
you have to have a goal to achieve anything.
i might end up disappointed
or in a huge messy situation,
but i am ready to take this step.
it is better to ask for forgiveness then permission!

Thank You for it All.

i went to sit outside because i need the sun.
i got to thinking about what else i need.
i need the sun because i'm low on vitamin d.
i can't see this need, but it's in my blood,
like how i need Jesus' sacrifice to return to God.

i can't plead ignorance.
i can't deny his existence.
the years i wasted running away from the truth.
there's only one thing i have left to do,
accept my eternal destiny and be blessed.

i have been foolish.
i have been reckless.
my youth left scars far deeper then the ones you can see.
you took from me more then i thought i could bare,
but you blessed me more then i ever knew.
your spirit was there to comfort me in my darkest hour.
all you've ever shown me is love.

i can't turn away.
i can't be afraid.
i still have time to make amends.
there's only one thing i haven't done.
i get on my knees, bow my head
and say a prayer to thank you for it all!

for the good and the bad,
for all the angels you sent to help me along the way,
for your patience,
this life i have now i'd never change.
no matter how destructive i got to be,
you never gave up on me.
thank you God.
thank you for it all!

Spell It Out

join me my friend.
outside it is cold.
no one understands you like i do.
another failed romance,
tainted from your history,
heaven won't shun you.
all you have to do is surrender.
nobody is denied eternal love.

did you know he misses you?
all your troubles can be resolved.
victory can be obtained.
independence is a trap.
demons want you to take their path.

patience will be rewarded.
acceptance is free.
repentence sets it all straight.
lean on the holy ghost.
ease into God's blessings.
touch your own soul.
teach yourself to an honest heart.
each of us is deserving of this.

Masterpiece

i have a wish to make.
i'm not sure what it'll take
to make my wish come true,
but if i get just one chance with you,
then i won't mind a lifetime of nothing new.

i'm not blind.
i know the odds.
i think loving you could be my masterpiece.
all the years of pain erased
when you arms wrap around me.
i know i'll finally find peace.

i want to be cinderella just once,
because i know you're my perfect prince.
we don't need a matchmaker here.
the statistics can't predict happenstance.
if you take this gamble with me,
i'll prove i'm worth the risk.

you're my inspiration to exist.
your presence enhances every nuance.
colors jump out at me.
every sound is music to my ears.
all my fears disappear
when you say my name.

i'll climb mount everest with you
and if we fall, at least i'm dying with you.
i know i can't always have my way,
but if you'd stay, i'd play the game anyway.
that's how much i want this.

i'm not known for my patience.
you see that life is a rush for me,
but without you every road is a deadend.
i hear you say you just want to be friends,
but i need so much more for my heart to mend.

just give me one chance
and i'll love you forever.
it may sound cliche,
but when i'm with you,
i'm a better person.
so help me help you realize i'm your masterpiece too.

Half Asleep

half asleep on a sunday morning,
killing time waiting for you.
i've spent up all of my patience.
the clock is the only thing changing here.
another minute i wish you were here,
but i won't be the one breaking down.
if you miss me as much as i miss you,
swallow your pride and call me.

you're so stubborn and stupid.
you would freeze to death
before you'd reach out to me.
i have some love put aside for you,
but it's not going to last forever.
let go of your self-control.
allow yourself to indulge,
while someone is here that wants you.

feelings are a stranger to you.
you accuse me of feeling too much,
but i'd rather be a live wire
then a dead circuit no one needs.
i've put alot of effort into loving you.
all i wanted was a chance,
but you never gave me that.
i am done with the games you play.
you never told me the rules anyway.
so i've got to move on now.

you got your righteous pride
and i've got a broken heart.
you think you're always right
and this time i think you're wrong.
no one could've loved you better,
but no matter what i do or say it's never enough.
i'm dropping my extra baggage
and picking up some optimism.

half asleep on a sunday afternoon,
realizing it's time to surrender.
i don't know what's to come,
but i know i won't be sharing it with you.
i have to build a future without you.

Happy Place

i want to be the one you want the most.
but reality bites and i'm always your 2nd place.
i keep wishing for your feelings to shift my way,
but your heart is stubborn.
and i've been unable to point it my way.
time will heal the broken heart she gave to you,
but i worry the scar tissue will keep you from ever loving me.

i hate being selfish but i disagree with you.
you think she's your soul mate.
you believe the two of you fit perfectly together.
but baby, that ain't true.
if the two of you were meant to be,
how could she walk away from you?

she had a choice and she didn't choose you.
does that sound like true love to you?
especially, when i'd pick you every time!
i want to be the one that's always on your mind.
you catch yourself talking about her.
you stop yourself from comparing us.
in my opinion, you just met her first.

it's clear we could be an epic love affair.
your desire for me could spark a million fires.
but you can't let go of the idea of her.
this pedastool you've placed her on is too high for her to ever come down.
you say you love her flaws and all,
but i think time would prove you wrong.

the human condition is a disease we all suffer.
she's already the stupidest woman i've ever heard of,
because she doesn't want you.
i know i am biased, but i know i would treat you better.
only if you'd let me love you,
then i could show you what you truly deserve.

i'm trying to capture our lightning in a cracked bottle with no lid.
this only friends with benefits satisfies my hunger for your touch,
but my heart still starves.
i don't want to push you because i'm afraid i'll lose you.
devastation is layed down in ultimatiums.
i don't want to look back on us and see it was my impatience that chased you away.

patience has never been my forte,
but i've never felt this connected before so i'll bite my tongue
and swallow my pride and hope you eventually realize that even though you aren't where you wanted to be, you ended up in a happy place here with me.