Dearest MeeMaw

In Honor of Brownie Irene Lock 9/3/1923 - 12/13/2011

Dearest MeeMaw i'm lost in memories of you.
Your sweet smile and child like giggles haunt my mind.
My world lost an effervescent light this morning.
Your love helped to anchor me in the darkest of times.
2am God took your beautiful soul back home.
He knows how much I love you.

My head hurts from trying to hold back these tears.
I'm working hard to overcome my fears.
Your pain is over and your blessings are fulfilled.
I feel selfish for still wanting you here.
I didn't call or visit as often as I should have,
but you were always near and dear to me.

I'm your little Irene and now your my guardian angel.
You'll never be far from my thoughts
And you'll always be with me in my heart.
I love you Brownie Irene.
You have always made the world a better place for me.
God take good care of her up there.
She spent her life loving you too.

Her faith never waivered.
Where I had doubts she embraced it all.
I wish I could be more like her.
Strong, Independent, Devoted, and Determined is what comes to mind when I try to describe her.
I love her and miss her so much already.
May peace be upon your soul, my beloved MeeMaw.
This little Irene will try her best to make you proud!

In His Hands

i pressed the delete key a 100 times today,
in an effort to erase all my mistakes.
i realized you can't erase all the errors,
you can only learn to forgive yourself
and let go of the guilt.

the thoughts in my head form like words in alphabet soup.
nothing makes sense but i always pull through.
my guardian angel must be exhausted.
there's dozens of times i should've been hurt.
i never think too far ahead.
i can barely survive the moment i'm in.

my life is a testament to perserverance.
i could've given up a million times,
but the holy ghost whispered telling me to forge ahead.
i don't know where i'm going.
God never shares his plans,
but i put my life in his hands.

when i'm worn out and beaten down,
his sweet spirit wraps around me
and drives out the cold.
my sorrows are never mine alone.
when i cry Jesus weeps with me.
my soul is soothed by praying in his name.

i place my hopes where i cannot see.
my faith is resilant and
when darkenss creeps up on me,
all i need to do is let his light in.
to believe is easy to give up control is hard,
but my life runs better when i put it in his hands
instead of my own!