Afraid June

the days pass by in a blur
i feel the same every day
i'd ask for more but i'm afraid!

you're missing me like i miss air
relationships are hard to make last
i'd tell you more but i'm afraid!

we both need a thrill
the burn of passion fades
we keep the worry a secret because we're afraid!

this is a test
i have a plan for us to pass
will you listen or are you too afraid?

i can pull back the layers
i will break down these barriers
i will shout out your name because i'm tired of being afraid!

you try to pull away
fear makes you do stupid things
take my hand and stop being afraid!

kick away the doubts
you're alive with new enthusiasm
we've gone mad but we aren't afraid!

we set the bar high
you grab the tequila and i'll lose our past
i'm yours now, don't be afraid!

God Knows I'm Here

why do i bleed so much when my heart's been ripped out?
why do i cling to an idea that doesn't want me?
power leaves my body and i grow weak.
my mind gets caught up in fantasies.
i can not live on hope alone.
i hunger for more.
i am sick of chewing on old bones.

i am not important to the world.
God knows i'm here,
but i struggle to keep him.
i weep when i hurt.
i leap for joy when i don't.
i got to have a good day today.
tomorrow, i don't know what mood i'll wake up in.

why do i lie to people to spare their feelings?
why do i cry for no reason?
my night's are lonely and i grow weak.
my body longs for the warmth of a man's touch.
i can't live on faith alone.
i have to learn to trust.
i have to let myself fall in love.

i am not someone special to you.
God knows i'm here,
but i struggle to keep him near.
i want to be more like you.
you are full of warmth and kindness.
i don't want to dominate our conversations.
tomorrow, i will ask you your thoughts and listen!

His Will

life is hard, but today that's alright.
i've kicked back on a chocolate sofa.
i'm enjoying life's simple comforts.
a gentle spirit has nested in my heart.
it's not perfect, but it's a start.

i'm delighted to be here.
it's a miracle to be born.
the way all the stars lined up.
how your mom and dad fell in love,
makes you believe in fate.

sadness robs us of God's warmth.
i've spent too many years in the darkness of despair.
i felt i had to be some impossible idea.
the perfect saint dressed in pure white,
but my white clothes all have mustard stains on them.
it dawned on me that i had to let go of perfect.

every day God's touch is within our view.
the blooming tiger lilies outside my back door.
the birds singing their beautiful songs.
my daughter watching reality tv.
all of it is evidence that God is here.

i thought i had to climb to the top of a mountain
or visit some exotic land to see God's hand,
but now i realize he is everywhere.

i am humbled.
i understand so little of his plan.
faith will have to guide me through.
i cannot see him, if i am not looking.
i cannot hear him, if i am not listening.
so today i sit still,
waiting, hoping, and praying to do his will.