His Will

life is hard, but today that's alright.
i've kicked back on a chocolate sofa.
i'm enjoying life's simple comforts.
a gentle spirit has nested in my heart.
it's not perfect, but it's a start.

i'm delighted to be here.
it's a miracle to be born.
the way all the stars lined up.
how your mom and dad fell in love,
makes you believe in fate.

sadness robs us of God's warmth.
i've spent too many years in the darkness of despair.
i felt i had to be some impossible idea.
the perfect saint dressed in pure white,
but my white clothes all have mustard stains on them.
it dawned on me that i had to let go of perfect.

every day God's touch is within our view.
the blooming tiger lilies outside my back door.
the birds singing their beautiful songs.
my daughter watching reality tv.
all of it is evidence that God is here.

i thought i had to climb to the top of a mountain
or visit some exotic land to see God's hand,
but now i realize he is everywhere.

i am humbled.
i understand so little of his plan.
faith will have to guide me through.
i cannot see him, if i am not looking.
i cannot hear him, if i am not listening.
so today i sit still,
waiting, hoping, and praying to do his will.

Whirlwind

throw away the trash, feed the dog
calm the thoughts racing through my head
put away the dishes, take my medicine
tell myself this is part of the plan
pay the bills, fold the laundry
suppress the heavy sighs and bored yawns
this is the glamorous life you left me

run the vacuum, sweep the floor
hope there's another chance outside my door
clip the coupons, go to the store
i thought there would be more
clean out the garage, walk the dog
your leaving me caught me off guard
the legacy of us fits into one trash bin

clean the toilets, change the sheets
i didn't know you had gotten cold feet
cancel the credit cards, forward the mail
the house echoes silence in your absence
take a shower, change my clothes
everything is moving in slow motion
the whirlwind sucked us in and destoyed us

burn the scrapbook, wipe away my tears
i've lingered too long on my fears
write down the pain, drink some more wine
i'm giving myself one last night to be contrite
glue my heart back together, put away my misery
i'm accepting your final exit and moving on
i'm checking getting over you off my to do list!

My Plan

i'm okay, i have a plan.
i'm not sure how to get what i want.
especially since you don't want me in return.

discord is emotionally scarring,
but i need startled out of my rut.
you found some buttons on me to push.
i found a man i can't resist.

hang around and be myself,
that's my plan, simple and true.
but it's all i have to give you.
i'm on my knees hoping to please.

with the simple motions of my hand,
i can send you spinning,
it empowers me to give to you.
i am enjoying you all over.